Leave Rex Grossman alone!
Super Bowl Bears!
Monday, September 24, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Another Fine Meth You've Gotten Me Into...
One of the downsides of the move to Florida: I seem to have acquired some sort of allergy.
Previously, I've been spared from any notion of allergic reactions. Mary has been poked and prodded and tested for her many allergies which typically result in her using an entire box of facial tissues each day. Me? I scoffed.
Allergies? Bah! Humbug!
That was, until a couple of months ago. Something in the morning air now causes me to sneeze and wheeze AND use some tissues from Mary's seemingly private stash.
Her suggestion? Claritin with Sudafed! Mary's been addicted ... I mean, she has used it for years and the best part: It's now an over-the-counter medication! She gave me a couple of hers and I could feel the effects instantly. Emboldened, I went to the store to buy my own Claritin.
What a nightmare. You can't actually buy Claritin with Sudafed right off of the shelf, you have to take a card to a pharmacist who demands your driver's license and proceeds to run you through a database. You see, the active ingredients in Claritin with Sudafed not only take the bite out of the pollen-filled morning air, but they also can be used to make methamphetamines. And, I tried to purchase two 10-count boxes during the same week in which our county sheriff had busted a couple of meth-labs.
Hence, I was profiled as an obvious gang-banger. Apparently what happens is this: Local drug cartels have been recruiting sniffling, wheezing, plump, late-40s white men in baggy denim shorts, flamboyant camp shirts and Chicago Bears caps to secure Claritin for them.
That's how it appeared to me, anyway. The woman would not tell me why, but explained, based on what her computer told her, I could only buy a package of 10. And she said this loud enough for the now amassing line behind me at the Target pharmacy counter to comprehend that I was a potential drug mule.
I vowed there and then to never buy Claritin again. However, last Wednesday, I needed a fix, so I hit my neighborhood Walgreen's.
Same routine. I could only buy 10. And I had to sit there while she entered and entered endless information about me into her computer. And she got on the intercom to announce to everyone in the store that I could only buy 10 Claritins. OK, I made the intercom part up, but, again, others had gotten in line behind me and she said, "Well, it will only let me sell you 10. Did you recently buy some in another store?"
"Three or four weeks ago in Target," I said.
"I see..." she replied.
I have no idea what she saw and I decided not to push the issue.
The dumbest thing the FDA ever did was to OK the over-the-counter status of Claritin with Sudafed. It should be available only by prescription which would make it an issue between my doctor and me. People with scripts for oxycontin and/or liquid cocaine get less of a hassle than a guy with some Florida allergy. And treating every Claritin/Sudafed customer as a potential drug mule is beyond ridiculous.
I have an idea, though. Judging by the arrests and from what I read, scoring crystal meth is far easier (and far less paperwork-intensive) than scoring Claritin with Sudafed. So, here is my brilliant scheme to avoid the hassle and embarrassment of attempting to buy Claritin wih Sudafed: I am going to invent a Claritin lab.
Then, I will purchase mass quantities of meth, ridding the streets of that drug, and retro-fit the meth back into simple, everyday Claritin with Sudafed.
Problem solved...
More later,
Mark
Previously, I've been spared from any notion of allergic reactions. Mary has been poked and prodded and tested for her many allergies which typically result in her using an entire box of facial tissues each day. Me? I scoffed.
Allergies? Bah! Humbug!
That was, until a couple of months ago. Something in the morning air now causes me to sneeze and wheeze AND use some tissues from Mary's seemingly private stash.
Her suggestion? Claritin with Sudafed! Mary's been addicted ... I mean, she has used it for years and the best part: It's now an over-the-counter medication! She gave me a couple of hers and I could feel the effects instantly. Emboldened, I went to the store to buy my own Claritin.
What a nightmare. You can't actually buy Claritin with Sudafed right off of the shelf, you have to take a card to a pharmacist who demands your driver's license and proceeds to run you through a database. You see, the active ingredients in Claritin with Sudafed not only take the bite out of the pollen-filled morning air, but they also can be used to make methamphetamines. And, I tried to purchase two 10-count boxes during the same week in which our county sheriff had busted a couple of meth-labs.
Hence, I was profiled as an obvious gang-banger. Apparently what happens is this: Local drug cartels have been recruiting sniffling, wheezing, plump, late-40s white men in baggy denim shorts, flamboyant camp shirts and Chicago Bears caps to secure Claritin for them.
That's how it appeared to me, anyway. The woman would not tell me why, but explained, based on what her computer told her, I could only buy a package of 10. And she said this loud enough for the now amassing line behind me at the Target pharmacy counter to comprehend that I was a potential drug mule.
I vowed there and then to never buy Claritin again. However, last Wednesday, I needed a fix, so I hit my neighborhood Walgreen's.
Same routine. I could only buy 10. And I had to sit there while she entered and entered endless information about me into her computer. And she got on the intercom to announce to everyone in the store that I could only buy 10 Claritins. OK, I made the intercom part up, but, again, others had gotten in line behind me and she said, "Well, it will only let me sell you 10. Did you recently buy some in another store?"
"Three or four weeks ago in Target," I said.
"I see..." she replied.
I have no idea what she saw and I decided not to push the issue.
The dumbest thing the FDA ever did was to OK the over-the-counter status of Claritin with Sudafed. It should be available only by prescription which would make it an issue between my doctor and me. People with scripts for oxycontin and/or liquid cocaine get less of a hassle than a guy with some Florida allergy. And treating every Claritin/Sudafed customer as a potential drug mule is beyond ridiculous.
I have an idea, though. Judging by the arrests and from what I read, scoring crystal meth is far easier (and far less paperwork-intensive) than scoring Claritin with Sudafed. So, here is my brilliant scheme to avoid the hassle and embarrassment of attempting to buy Claritin wih Sudafed: I am going to invent a Claritin lab.
Then, I will purchase mass quantities of meth, ridding the streets of that drug, and retro-fit the meth back into simple, everyday Claritin with Sudafed.
Problem solved...
More later,
Mark
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Interesting Media Reports
If you are interested in the future of newspapers or the current state of the information age, here are two must-reads from the past week.
First, the fine folks at Forbes.com have more bad news about newspaper advertising revenue trends:
Internet Good, Newspapers Bad
Next, the Web site for Media Life magazine has an interesting look at what some see as the future:
The emerging online-only local paper
More later,
Mark
First, the fine folks at Forbes.com have more bad news about newspaper advertising revenue trends:
Internet Good, Newspapers Bad
Next, the Web site for Media Life magazine has an interesting look at what some see as the future:
The emerging online-only local paper
More later,
Mark
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Let's Go Bears!
I may have never been more ready for some football.
Like many other Chicago Bears fans, I have been chewing on Super Bowl XLI for seven long months. I'm tired of the taste of defeat and humiliation.
Last year was a remarkable season. The Bears won their division and then the NFC championship. One for the record books? Yes. Fun? You bet. Tumultuous? Duh.
Ultimately unsatisfying? Absolutely.
The team is back, largely intact. The schedule is tougher. Rex is, uhm, Rex.
And the defense remains the biggest, baddest, meanest "D" in the NFL.
Yet, there's unfinished business here, gentlemen. The league does not respect the Chicago Bears. I mean, did you see that Nike/LaDainian Tomlinson commercial?
So, the only way to wipe that bad taste out of our collective mouths is for Urlacher, Harris, Briggs and crew to go out there Sunday and HIT people. Might I suggest this year's "LT" be made to feel like he has a rather large target on his back?
If last year was a fluke, we'll find out soon enough. If the Bears don't make it to the Super Bowl, we'll live. But we should refuse to be laughed at or mocked.
The 1969 Bears team went 1-13. And you know what? Those who saw the season or played in the games remember something other than the record. They remember the fear. They knew they could out-score the Bears, but they also knew that some bad dudes like Dick Butkus, Doug Buffone and Ed O'Bradovich were going to beat the hell out of them. Teams won and went home bloodied.
Today will be a tough test, but much will be learned by the way these Chicago Bears win or lose. I would be just as happy starting the season 0-1, if Tomlinson's leg is held aloft at the end of the game as sort of a makeshift Lombardi Trophy.
That could be OUR Super Bowl.
Which brings us to my annual Bears season prediction. Last year, I predicted that the Bears would go 13-3, win both the NFC North Division title and the NFC Championship before falling to the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl LXI.*
This year, I say the Bears will go 11-5, with the North title again and will be Super Bowl-bound after they win a second consecutive NFC championship title.
In any case, "Let's go Bears!" And don't forget that you can follow all of the action over at our popular site:
Super Bowl-Bound Bears
More later,
Mark
* I predicted this to myself in a hotel room in Cocoa Beach but I forgot to post it. Sorry.
Urlacher's bumpersticker?
Like many other Chicago Bears fans, I have been chewing on Super Bowl XLI for seven long months. I'm tired of the taste of defeat and humiliation.
Last year was a remarkable season. The Bears won their division and then the NFC championship. One for the record books? Yes. Fun? You bet. Tumultuous? Duh.
Ultimately unsatisfying? Absolutely.
The team is back, largely intact. The schedule is tougher. Rex is, uhm, Rex.
And the defense remains the biggest, baddest, meanest "D" in the NFL.
Yet, there's unfinished business here, gentlemen. The league does not respect the Chicago Bears. I mean, did you see that Nike/LaDainian Tomlinson commercial?
So, the only way to wipe that bad taste out of our collective mouths is for Urlacher, Harris, Briggs and crew to go out there Sunday and HIT people. Might I suggest this year's "LT" be made to feel like he has a rather large target on his back?
If last year was a fluke, we'll find out soon enough. If the Bears don't make it to the Super Bowl, we'll live. But we should refuse to be laughed at or mocked.
The 1969 Bears team went 1-13. And you know what? Those who saw the season or played in the games remember something other than the record. They remember the fear. They knew they could out-score the Bears, but they also knew that some bad dudes like Dick Butkus, Doug Buffone and Ed O'Bradovich were going to beat the hell out of them. Teams won and went home bloodied.
Today will be a tough test, but much will be learned by the way these Chicago Bears win or lose. I would be just as happy starting the season 0-1, if Tomlinson's leg is held aloft at the end of the game as sort of a makeshift Lombardi Trophy.
That could be OUR Super Bowl.
Which brings us to my annual Bears season prediction. Last year, I predicted that the Bears would go 13-3, win both the NFC North Division title and the NFC Championship before falling to the Indianapolis Colts in Super Bowl LXI.*
This year, I say the Bears will go 11-5, with the North title again and will be Super Bowl-bound after they win a second consecutive NFC championship title.
In any case, "Let's go Bears!" And don't forget that you can follow all of the action over at our popular site:
Super Bowl-Bound Bears
More later,
Mark
* I predicted this to myself in a hotel room in Cocoa Beach but I forgot to post it. Sorry.
Urlacher's bumpersticker?
Friday, September 07, 2007
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Exclusive Video!
Remember right before Super Bowl XLI someone posted an old video showing a grade-school-aged Peyton Manning dancing in some school play? Well, earlier today, I received another amazing video also showing Manning dancing up a storm!
See it for yourself:
Ready For Some?
But who is that rather homely woman?
More later,
Mark
P.S. I am ready for some football and for some smack-talk!!!
See it for yourself:
Ready For Some?
But who is that rather homely woman?
More later,
Mark
P.S. I am ready for some football and for some smack-talk!!!
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Feel Like Kickin' My Heels Up
As you can see from the video below, I have discovered a site that could provide all of us hours of enjoyment.
The good folks at JibJab.Com have created the means for me to take ANY photo of ANYONE I want and animate it into a creative dance scene. All it requires is a picture. It could be a picture I have in my collection. It could be a picture I can google. It could be a picture I have already googled or snagged from my collecion and already animated and have spent the better part of Sunday laughing at so wildly that various alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages have shot out my nose.
So who would you like to see (famous, near-famous, infamous or just a Mark's World regular). I'm taking requests...
More later,
Mark
The good folks at JibJab.Com have created the means for me to take ANY photo of ANYONE I want and animate it into a creative dance scene. All it requires is a picture. It could be a picture I have in my collection. It could be a picture I can google. It could be a picture I have already googled or snagged from my collecion and already animated and have spent the better part of Sunday laughing at so wildly that various alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages have shot out my nose.
So who would you like to see (famous, near-famous, infamous or just a Mark's World regular). I'm taking requests...
More later,
Mark
Saturday, September 01, 2007
September Morn
Well, August is over and Mark's World visitors helped make it the second most successful month ever!
We finished just 10 visits shy of tying our all-time visit record that was set — in July! Recent history has us soaring in terms of visits. In the last month, we almost equaled the traffic of October, November and Deceember 2006 combined!
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to stop by. And we'll keep working hard to make this site worthy of your precious Internet browsing time.
More later,
Mark
We finished just 10 visits shy of tying our all-time visit record that was set — in July! Recent history has us soaring in terms of visits. In the last month, we almost equaled the traffic of October, November and Deceember 2006 combined!
Thanks to all of you for taking the time to stop by. And we'll keep working hard to make this site worthy of your precious Internet browsing time.
More later,
Mark
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