• Stars like Barry Bonds and Alex Rodriguez denied taking steroids then denied that they knew exactly what that stuff was that was being injected into their bodies.
• Stars like Sammy Sosa suddenly forgot English and became the embodiment of Chico Escuela.
• Mark McGwire just sobbed and denied reality like the little girl he now resembles because of his lack of testicles.
Me? I'm coming clean. I spent a week on steroids. And I am here to say that anyone who is on steroids KNOWS he is on steroids.
So, on top of being cheaters, these men are liars.
The doc prescribed prednisone as an anti-inflammatory when I came in with a bad case of bronchitis. I also got the Z-Pak and the delicious codeine-laced cough syrup...
Mmmmmm... Codeine...
Anyway, within days, I began to feel the effects:
• Fatigue
• Blurred vision
• Acne
• Sleeplessness
• Night sweats
• Restlessness
• Increased urination
• Bizarre appetite fetishes
That was just the beginning.
By the end of the week, my gonads had shrunk to the size of mere grapefruits...
I forgot to mention, this blog is rated R because it might contain "adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements."
The prescription ended Thursday. By Saturday, I still had acne and new symptoms, these brought on by prednisone withdrawal, including fatigue, headaches and a smaller hat size.
Sure, I killed at the batting cage. But all in all, this was not a pleasant experience. Bronchitis sucks enough but when you add night sweats, it's downright miserable.
So, Major League Baseball stars, come clean. Whether you hide behind lies or some 21st Century masking agent, you can't hide from yourself. You know darned well that when you start sweating profusely at night even when you are all alone, get more zits than Jessica Simpson at a french-fry eating contest or suddenly fit into a youth-sized cup again, that steroids are to blame.
More later,
Mark
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