Everything Is, Uhm, Fine...

Well, let's recount the past two days...

1.) Mary went into a dangerous coughing jag Friday night that ultimately landed her at the doctor's office Saturday with a diagnosis of bronchitis.

2.) At the same time, Clyde began to get increasingly agitated about his bathroom home. By Friday night, while Mary was coughing her head off (literally, and it is quite messy to re-attach, should this ever occur to you or your loved ones) Clyde's paws appeared from under his door.

3.) Saturday morning, Mark gave Clyde his pre-release bath to wash away any remaining dander and scuzz from the shelter.

4.) Meanwhile, Mary got quite hopped up on doctor-provided codeine cough syrup. Mark canceled one party appearance and made a token appearance at another because a.) it was pretty much around the corner; b.) he knew the food would be outstanding.

5.) He got home at around 8 p.m. to find Mary nearly conscious and fixed her dinner with food generously provided by the party hosts.

6.) The movie "Venus" was enjoyed until 10 p.m. It would be fondly recalled later as the "Last Quiet Moment of 2007."

7.) The decision was made to release Clyde from his confinement.

8.) All hell has broken loose.

There you have it. Clyde is a blur; everything is a game. The game goes like this: a.) look; b.) crouch; c.) pounce.

Louie is, uhm, not impressed. He apparently can growl and hiss simultaneously. We did not know that.

Surveillance captured this grainy image of an early encounter:


Shot with KODAK EASYSHARE C743 ZOOM DIGITAL CAMERA. at 1969-12-31

Oh my! To Louie's defense, he doesn't normally look that psychotic.

More later,


Mark

And Now a Word From Clyde...

Shot with KODAK EASYSHARE C743 ZOOM DIGITAL CAMERA. at 1969-12-31
I WANT OUT NOW!!!! DON"T MAKE ME TUNNEL OUT OF HERE!!!

We hear you, Clyde.

The newspaper office has taken to calling our cats "One-Eyed Clyde" and "Lefty Louie." Both left eyes are much better: Clyde is a good 95 percent healed and Louie is already at 90 percent. We figure one more day to let Louie catch up and make sure the conjunctivitis doesn't spread/return and we'll formally introduce them to each other.

Saturday looks like the day and it is also the two-week anniversary of Clyde's rescue and incarceration. We have a busy social schedule on Saturday with two parties so we might make it an early night and referee the budding, uhm, brotherhood. Actually, they've seen each a lot and Louie likes to play "hand grab" ("paw grab?") at the door so I think all will be well.

More later,


Mark

EXCLUSIVE CAT NEWS!

In response to the many requests for updates, here is the latest on our ongoing Cat-astrophe: The new cat, Clyde, is better. The cold is gone and he has nearly licked – literally – his accute conjunctivitis. However, he is still a resident of the guest bathroom.

Why? Louie, our older cat, somehow contracted the conjunctivitis. We believe this occurred as they sniffed and pawed at each other from under the bathroom door. We obtained new medicine for Louie today so now Clyde's debut past the bathroom door has been put off for a couple more days!

CLYDE IS DESPERATE FOR ANY ATTENTION!

Poor Clyde will have been captive in the bathroom for two weeks on Saturday! He's starting to get rambunctious and tries to dart out when we come in to play or check on him. Hopefully, we can free him by Saturday.

Still, Clyde is a sweet cat with a lot of personality. His favorite trick is to jump up on the sink and then onto my back as I am sweeping the floor or changing the litter...

As you can see in the above exclusive photo, Clyde's right eye is still a bit wonky, though his left eye, previously squirting blood, is pretty much cleared up. Louie's right eye is similarly impacted. However, he is less photogenic at the moment.

More on this story as it develops...

More later,


Mark

I Say: Fantastic! Four Stars!

Sorry for the delay, but I need to add my 2 cents to the debate over "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer." Mary and I caught the matinee Sunday and the film is a genuine thrill ride. It is a good time that plays true to the comic book and is better than it predecessor, 2005's "Fantastic Four."

This time around, FFROTSS is that rare comic book-turned-movie that is great fun that kids and parents will enjoy equally. I knew this before I saw it (and before I read anything from film critics who wouldn't know a comic book from a orangutan much less recall the comic book story arc when Johnny was put in charge of the business side of the FF and set about making product endorsement deals) on Saturday morning when a mom and her two boys entered the comic book shop ahead of me. 
 
"Do you have any comic books with the Fantastic Four or the Silver Surfer?" she asked the guy behind the counter. The boys were like 8-10 years old and mom and dad had taken them to see the movie the night before. They left with an armful of comics and I thought: "This is awesome. A new generation of fanboys!"

Too many times, Marvel and DC have wrapped their characters around complex plots and dark images ("Batman Begins," "Spider-Man 3," "Daredevil") that have not exactly been accessible to younger or more sensitive viewers. Clearly, the decision has been made to go the "bubble gum" route with the FF movies and I, for one, say "Here! Here!" As a result of this accessibility, FFROTSS opened as the No. 1 movie this past weekend at $57.4 million, up from the 2005 opening of $56.3 million.

Of course, film critics mostly pilloried the latest adventures of Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben. I will address them later. I found this interesting, however: Two years ago, both my brother, Eric, and my brother from another mother, Brad, hated the initial FF movie. This time around? Here's Eric's view:

Rise of the Silver Surfer: It is Fantastic .

Brad has posted the views of his alter ego, Sherlock Holmes IV, here:

The Cinema of the Four

More later,


Mark

Big Sale On Bears Gear!

If you have clicked on the Bears jersey at left and have been oggling some of those sweet deals, here's how to make great deals better today (TUESDAY!):

There is a coupon I found on SlickDeals.Net that is good ONLY today between 12-4 p.m. EST. Simply enter OUTLET25 at checkout and you'll receive an additional 25 percent off the low sale price. So, that $75 replica Lance Briggs jersey is now $37.50!

Check it out!

More later,

Mark

Fantastic Opening Weekend!

It looks like, once again despite the critics, the second Fantastic Four film is heading toward a great opening weekend. I'll be at a preview today and will share my views later!

More later,

Mark

Mrs. 7,000 Is Here!

Mark's World received this important dispatch just hours ago!

HERE SHE IS! MRS. 7,000!

LILY LAKE, ILL. — It has been announced that rural Lily Lake resident Suzanne Kathro has been named "Mrs. 7,000" by the wildly popular Mark's World blog published out of Melbourne, Fla.

Mrs. Kathro expressed surprise and joy upon receiving the award, a high-quality mug made in China.

"I never expected to win anything, I was just going about my business getting my daily fix of 'Mark's World,'" she mused.

This is the second such award to be presented by the blog's publisher, Mark Sweetwood.

"I fully intend to take my responsibilities very seriously", Mrs. Kathro continued.

Her first appearance as Mrs. 7,000 will be at the upcoming grand opening of The Sudsy Starfish Laundromat in Two Egg, Fla.


Nice tiara, Suzanne! Thanks for being such a great sport – as well as a frequent visitor and prolific blogger! Long shall you reign – or until we find a Mrs. or Mr. 8,000!

More later,

Mark

Not Ready For His Close-Up Yet, But...

Young Clyde has made great progress in the 48 hours since his harrowing late-night visit to Emergency Veterinary Care of Melbourne. He's not quite photogenic, yet, but he looks so much better and barely sneezed on me tonight.

The line I wish I would have thought of earlier to describe the bleeding from the eyes: Kitty stigmata.

He might be the best-natured cat we've ever met. What seems to us as cruel, to be locked away in a bathroom alone for hours on end, seems to bring him endless joy. I guess, compared to a cramped cage in a loud shelter, the bathroom seems like an apartment. When we walk in, sometimes he's in his bed. Sometimes he's on his blanket. Sometimes he's on the sink. Sometimes he's sitting in the litter.

LOUIE REMINDS US WHO'S STILL NO. 1!

Always purring. Endless purring.

We hear him occasionally playing with his new toys. The only sound he has uttered - other than the non-stop purr - was a tiny "meow" Monday night when we put him back in the cat carrier for the trip to the vet. It was quiet, gentle; almost a plea, as if to remind us, "Take me anywhere but back to that animal shelter."

He is home to stay. Meanwhile, Louie keeps vigil at the door. They have spotted each other.

On Monday or Tuesday, he should be free. Then, the real fun begins!

More later,


Mark

A Cat-astrophe!

It was a long night which lasted into the wee hours Tuesday, but, really, what choice did we have?

If you brought a cat home from the shelter and a minor cold lead to blood dripping from the eyes, what would you do?

If you happen to be the Sweetwoods and it happens to be 10:30 p.m. and young Clyde happens to look like something out of a Stephen King novel, you tear through the Yellow Pages post-haste to find a 24-hour emergency veterinarian. And then you speed there, plunk down the MasterCard and marvel how calm some people can be when face-to-face with what appears to be Lucifer's leopard.

CLYDE'S BEST SIDE FOR NOW

Now, I say "appears" because despite an upper respiratory infection, acute conjunctivitis that made the eyes glow red and spew plasma, a fever and long nails that needed to be clipped (at $85 for an emergency visit, I was taking full advantage), Clyde was a perfect gentleman. He was calm. He played. He even purred when violated by a thermometer. Truly, he is a wonderful animal.

He just looks bad.

They pumped him with fluids and medicines, prescribed eye drops and antibiotics and a few hours later we were all home again. While at the emergency vet, however, we also solved a mystery: How did Clyde's small cold Saturday escalate into an emergency vet visit by Monday even though the shelter gave us a set of the exact meds that the vet prescribed?

Turns out, the prescription needed to be refrigerated. Now it would be easy to blame Mary because this is my blog. Let her go defend herself on Mary's World or some such site. But, the truth is, neither of us read the directions and they estimated that without refrigeration, the meds were probably useless by Sunday morning...

Ooops.

So, poor Clyde just got worse. Now he'll get better. Poor Louis J. Cat is going to have to wait at least another week before he meets the mysterious intruder on the other side of the guest bathroom door who is causing so much fuss lately.

More later,

Mark

Dear Mr. Chase

(SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU MISSED "THE SOPRANOS" FINALE AND YOU DON"T WANT THE ENDING SPOILED, STOP READING!)

Three cheers for an ending to "The Sopranos" that will keep fans debating, loving, hating, analyzing for generations – or until "The Sopranos" movie.

HBO.COM

For those who saw the show, the last five minutes were a tantalyzing montage featuring the family gathering at a local restaurant. Tony arrives first, and chooses Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" over Tony Bennett's "I Gotta Be Me" on the jukebox. Then a man with a "USA" ball cap has a seat in a booth near him. Carm arrives for some small talk in the booth with Tony. Then A.J. walks in to take his seat, flanked by a made-looking guy who chooses a seat at the nearby counter. Outside, Meadow makes several attempts to parallel park her car. She finally runs into the restaurant, as the made guy in the Member's Only jacket makes his way into the bathroom. Tony looks up and then...

Fade to black. For agonizing moments.

I grabbed my remote, sure that the HD channel was experiencing one of those annoying flubs. It wasn't. It was Sopranos creator (and finale writer and director) David Chase having fun. Soon, the final credits rolled. So what happened?

Some fans on the the various boards and chat rooms say Tony is dead; that Bobby was right and you don't see that last one when it is coming your way. Others say that Chase was just setting one more table for America's favorite mob family (after all, the episode's title is "Made in America").

Some fans were outraged. Others content. All vocal.

I thought the genius was in cleverly provoking one more response from audience. A "Sopranos" episode generally ran from 47-55 minutes; this one ran about 64. So, we weren't sure when it was going to end. And I did grab the remote. I thought, like Tony, that the situation as it appeared was something that could be easily controlled, when the reality was quite different. How many times did Tony face that situation? How many times did he fail to learn the lesson? How many times did we fail right along with him for seven seasons?

"Made in America," for sure.

More later,


Mark

Just a Reminder: Finale of The Sopranos Tonight!

The Sweetwoods will not be taking calls after 8:45 p.m. EST.

And Then There's Clyde!

And Then There's Clyde!

June is National Adopt-A-Cat Month. That, combined with Louis J. Cat's recent bout with ennui, prompted us to head down to the Brevard County Animal Shelter Saturday.

Louie's big brother, 'Tude, died last October right before we moved. Louie was fond of following 'Tude around, mimicking his every step and even sleeping on top of him. After 'Tude died and we moved, Louie seemed OK for awhile. Soon, Mary began to work full-time, too, and Louie was left alone for long periods of time. In April and May, we were gone for three of four weekends in one stretch and Louie just seemed to get into a funk.

So, we decided he needed a brother, again. At the Brevard County Animal Shelter, we discovered Clyde.



Actually, Clyde adopted us, as they say. I picked him up out of his cage and he made me promise he would NOT be put back into that cage again. He snuggled up into my arms and purred like a machine.

And now he lives in our guest bathroom. We can have no guests for a week or so.



Clyde is about 2 years old, by their guess, and he's a Maine Coon mix. He was left at the shelter by the neighbor of his original owner who complained the owner was allergic to his longer hair. Gutless owner; makes his neighbor abandon his own cat.

There were dozens of sad stories at the shelter. Cats abandoned because of a move. Cats abandoned because of allergies. Cats abandoned for no reason.



Clyde is extremely personable and has a loud, non-stop purr. He's been checked and given shots and is fixed. He'll be segregated from Louie for a week behind closed doors while he is treated for a minor cold. They will sniff each other from behind the door and we will gradually introduce them to each other.

Then the real fun begins!

We'll keep you posted on the progress!

More later,


Mark

McCartney's Latest Memory

Paul McCartney's "Memory Almost Full" CD/iTunes/Starbucks musical release is out and it is not half-bad. I have listened to bits of each track and I am still making up my mind. It appears, however, to be the perfect appetizer for Nick Lowe, who's "At My Age"CD releases later this month.

Interesting factoid: Lowe's early band effort, Brinsley Schwartz, used to open for McCartney's Wings. I am betting not even my brother, no musical slouch himself, knew that...

To read Rolling Stone's review, sample each of the tracks and even give "Memory Almost Full" a star review, check out:

Memory Almost Full

More later,


Mark

Here She Is: Mrs. 7,000!

Prolific poster and all-around good person Suzanne Kathro notched the Mrs. 7,000 title at approximately 8:48 (7:48 CST) p.m. Monday. She edged out my Mom who was Mrs. 6,999.



Close, Mom, but no cigar, I mean, stein. However, Mom, you do retain my enduring love, so you've got that going for you.

Suzanne worked in the classified department during my time at the Kane County Chronicle. She is an award-winning blogger and her main Web site, "The Farmer's Wife," is truly a work of art. Check it out here:

The Farmer's Wife

Suzanne has already been informed that her duties as Mrs. 7,000 include submitting a digital photo featuring herself and the fabled Mark's World stein that will soon be on its way to her home.

Thanks everyone for stopping by and running up the counter!

More later,


Mark

Mr. or Mrs. 7,000!

Sign in, please!

At 7:48.07 p.m. CST, you signed in on an Ameritech.Net/SBC Internet Services Account out of the southwestern suburbs of Lyons, Ill. You arrived here from your bookmarks on a PC running Internet Explorer 6.0 and your monitor resolution is set for a 1024-by-768 screen.

And I am confident I know who this is.

Oh, yes, you beat out my Mom by a few seconds...

We await your coronation, oh mighty Mr. or Mrs. 7,000. Please e-mail me immediately at marksweetwood@aol.com just like you did earlier this evening.

:)

Mark

Watch This Space!

The spike in visits continues and it looks like we'll have our Mr. or Mrs. 7,000 by Monday! He or she will be awarded the fabled Mark's World stein suitable for consuming mass quantities of any favorite beverage. I'll post the time, location and the browser of the 7,000th visitor. All you have to due is verify (and the Mark's World staff will authenticate by IP).

Meanwhile, check out the Beach Cam on the lower left and see how much more calm the ocean is today. Yesterday, as Bary came through, that cam had some awesome pictures of the churning Atlantic.

More later,


Mark

Happy Anniversaries!

A couple of points about this week that are pretty amazing, at least to me.

Yesterday, May 31, was the two-year anniversary of Mark's World. I could not be prouder of this little pimple on the backside of the Internet. It's fun to be here and I am happy that so many visitors have stopped by – and even returned.



Speaking of all of you visitors, history, or at least my sitemeter counter, will record that May 2007 was the most successful month ever in terms of visits. We're on an upward trajectory here and visits seem to be growing by about 8-9 percent a month. We had more total page views in April, mostly because of our coverage of the Bears convention. Those posts saw a leap in interest, especially among those who Googled "Bears Convention." Just yesterday we were visited by someone who Googled "Jeff Joniak." Why do I think this might only have been done by Jeff Joniak?

Lately, we're getting hits from across the pond every time we reference the upcoming CDs by Paul McCartney and Nick Lowe (both of which have been pre-ordered).

Our page views in May were second only to April's, which is really outstanding. And in a week or so, we'll crown Mr. or Mrs. 7,000 to receive the fabled Mark's World stein.

Today is also the one-year anniversary of my arrival to Hometown News in Melbourne, Fla. It was just after Memorial Day 2006 that I fired up the Kia Sportage and headed 1,400 miles south from Illinois to the new life in Florida (Mary and Louie were to arrive six months later). The company was great enough keep me in a hotel for months while we weathered the housing market downturn to sell our Crystal Lake home. I even moved in with the parents for a while and commuted from Ormond Beach to Melbourne witnessing traffic horrors along I-95 that haunt me to this very day.

All's well that ends well, I guess they say, and we just renewed our lease on the condo. We're right where we want to be, doing what we want to do with people that we absolutely enjoy (most days).

Still, it's been a tough couple of weeks. Among the worst kinds of anguish that I can imagine is the helpless feeling of watching as people you love are hurt, perhaps beyond repair. You want to fix it. You want to protect them. You want to make it better. But you cannot, at least not in any real sense. It's the ugly reality of mortality that we are normally able to dodge each day. Until we can't. Then, it hurts.

Mary and I will continue to push ahead guided by the faith we have in each other and our determination to continue to be motivated by our convictions, personally and professionally.

Meanwhile, you can expect augmentations and innovations aplenty in Mark's World in the coming year. Thank you for stopping by and for supporting Mark's World as we embark on Year 3!

More later,


Mark