A Message of Peace

Happy Holidays!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Kwanza!

And peace and good will to all!

As I reflect this year about world and the concept of peace, I wonder what Jesus of Nazareth would think of 2005 AD? Perhaps the Jesus of Cool, Nick Lowe, framed the question best in a song made famous by his good friend Elvis Costello...

Peace, Love and Understanding


(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin’ for light in the darkness of insanity.

I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There’s one thing I wanna know:
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding?

And as I walked on
Through troubled times
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes
So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

’cause each time I feel it slippin’ away, just makes me wanna cry.
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding?

So where are the strong?
And who are the trusted?
And where is the harmony?
Sweet harmony.

’cause each time I feel it slippin’ away, just makes me wanna cry.
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding? ohhhh
What’s so funny ’bout peace love & understanding?


That's a heckuva Christmas Carol, if you ask me. If there is anything at all funny about the notion of peace, love and understanding, I've long forgotten the joke. I know I haven't done my share to advance enough of any of it. How about you? Need a good resolution for 2006?

Mary and I hope you and yours have the best holiday ever. Love, laugh, share and hope. And eat, especially if you are Italian or related to an Italian or visiting an Italian. I have the best of all worlds.

And here's to a much better world in 2006!

More later,


Mark

A New Diversion

As our eight-day, five-state voyage rolled into Canton, Ohio, on Sunday, we had but two priorities:

1.) Watch the Chicago Bears at Damon's preferably while munching ribs and playing NTN.Com's QB1.

2.) Visit the Pro Football Hall of Fame to pay reverent homage to the great Bears enshrined within.

Payton At The Hall

Actually, looking at the entire odyssey, there were just two MUST objectives, in addition to all of the visiting: The now-documented pilgrimage to the Thurber House in Columbus, Ohio, on the way to New York and the Damon's excursion on the return.

We arrived Sunday at 11:30 a.m. EST in Canton at our first destination, the downtown Marriott McKinley Grand Hotel, where we had Pricelined a room for $50. Now, I was originally not happy with Priceline.com because I was seeking one of the 2 or 2-and-a-half star hotels nearer the Hall of Fame and Damon's but was greeted with the "good news" that my bid was "upgraded" to a 3-star venue.

Uhm, but I didn't want to be downtown, I wanted to be near my destination, I complained when I called Priceline. A guy there uttered that he had never had anyone complain about an upgrade before. Priceline deals are final he said as he essentially hung up on me to laugh with his coworkers about this nut who got a $129 room for $50 AND called to bitch...

We settled into our room and at about noon - with an hour to spare before kickoff. I called over to Damon's to make sure they were getting the Bears-Buccaneers game. I was a little surprised that the phone rang at the other end so long... 11...12...13...

"Good, uhm, morning. Damon's," a voice said from the other end, clearly unaware it was no longer morning.

"Hi, can you give me directions? We're downtown at the Marriott and we're coming over to watch the Bears game."

"Uhm, yeah, well, sorry but we are closed. We had a water pump break and we won't be able to open."

Now, of course, I am waiting for the joke to end. I mean, pro football fans and rib-lovers arrive by the busloads to Damon's and I am sure this is just a funny joke the manager tells every time he answers the phone...

I wait another beat.

Seriously, after the mess at the Thurber House, what are the odds that we could pick two places on a map that would have completely independent crises upon our arrival?

"You ARE kidding, right?"

"Uhm, no, sorry. There is no way we can open today. There are some other sports bars near us if you would like I could give you some directions..."

Other? Please...

So, I bid the submerging manager farewell and called the Marriott front desk. They assured me they had a sports bar and it was named, appropriately, "Thorpe's Lounge."

That was good enough for us. We headed downstairs to find a nice bar with one older, roughly 40-inch television and we commandeered the corner closest to the TV. We were the only patrons and the FOX pre-game show was under way and they were gushing about the Bears season so far (although lame Frank Caliendo picked the Bucs to win).

"Now, you are going to have to let us switch over to check on Cleveland once in a while," warned the bartender. "You're in Browns country."

I was in my Urlacher jersey. I just sneered at her: "We'll see. Right now, only Bears fans are here."

It turned out to be a delightful afternoon. The Marriott ribs were tasty. We had great seats and the run of the joint. No one asked to see the Browns after the Vikings began waxing the floor with them. Brother Eric called to share his excitement during as the Bears took the lead. I called and jeered my Florida parents who, sadly, converted from respectable Bears fans to Buccaneer backers when they headed south full-time in 1998. It is the shame of the family.

After the Bears' first touchdown, I called them and feigned confusion as if I was still traveling on the road...

"Any update on the game?" My Dad was not amused and suggested, instead, I make sure I view Carnell "Cadillac" Williams' shoes when I visit the hall the following day. I shot a picture of them (put on display after he broke the single-game rookie rushing record earlier this season) with my cell phone and emailed him just to prove I was a good sport. That was the only Buccaneer artifact in the hall, as far as I could tell.

We spent a few hours at the hall Monday and left Canton elated at our experiences. The Marriott staff was wonderful, the bar was terrific, the room was great and the hall is such a treat for football fanatics. I could watch those old NFL films all day. We grabbed some souvenirs and then headed toward the open turnpike.

Next stop: Home!

More later,


Mark

Our Annual Corning Visit

Corning, N.Y. always is a special place for Mary and I to visit.

She was born here in 19.. ... uhm ... many years ago! She has fond memories of her first 30 years in upstate New York including her collegiate career at Syracuse University. I first came to this town in 1988 as an eager news editor of a family owned, six-day, mostly P.M. newspaper. I left four years later as a hardened managing editor of a fully paginated, seven-day A.M. newspaper staffed by an incredible crew which took on an invading Gannett newspaper and stared the empire down.

The Leader is still the Corning newspaper though it has changed hands a few times and is now a corporate-owned product bereft of much personality - as well as staff-written news. The Star-Gazette of Elmira may have lost the battle way back then, but they appear to be winning the war now. That kinda hurts...

Mary's mom, Grace, is as delightful as always. We have a running battle about which channel is worst: QVC vs. Home Shopping Club. I maintain HSN is the best and we flip back and forth between channels extolling the virtues of whatever crap is on the screen to ridiculous heights. She is an extraordinary cook - it is clear where Mary gets her skills and love of cooking - and she is continually following us about with tantalizing food. I caught something of a cold earlier this week and on Friday night she made the most wonderful tortellini soup with leftover turkey.

I was told it was a turkey. It may have been a 11.5-pound rooster.

When not eating or coughing, we have been visiting. On Tuesday night, we visited the home of Mary's best friend from Corning Darcy, her husband Dave and their three great kids Rob, Mike and Jonathon. They are always great to visit and the reunion of Mary's mom with Darcy's dog Spot always sparks a funny memory.

When Spot was just a puppy, some nine years ago, Darcy and family visited Mary's mom. Knowing the dog would not be allowed inside the house, Dave had attached its leash to the first thing that caught his eye.

After a short visit, they all headed outside and Grace decided to open the garage door with the remote from inside the house. Arriving outside, they discovered the poor puppy swinging from its leash with Dave desperately trying to hold him higher and higher as the door raised so that Spot wouldn't choke!

Dave had attached poor, unsuspecting Spot to the garage door handle.

Spot was uninjured, but we always theorize he's just waiting for his chance to get even...

Wednesday we walked the length of downtown Market Street, now marketed as the Gaffer District. It always amazes us how you can tell the current state of this company town by the relative health of Market Street during our annual visits. Alas, there were about a dozen empty storefronts and a couple of stores en route to closing. Still, we love the street and the local atmosphere and I rank the Market Street Brewing Co. as one of my all-time favorite brew pubs - and I've been to a few from coast to coast.

Wednesday night we spent with our old friends Neil and Linda Hopp at the home of their daughter, Kelly, and husband, Todd. Neil first hired me in 1988 and I returned the favor and hired him to help take the Northwest Herald to new levels of greatness in 1996. Today, Neil is student media director at Central Michigan University hence we probably spent far too much time boring everyone discussing the current state of the media. He brings a great perspective in his role of challenging young minds.

Neil is just one of my all-time favorite people; one of those people you meet and instantly know he's authentic and classy and intelligent. He's that odd combination of mentor and friend. It was so good to see all of them again.

We gobbled down way too much turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, etc. on Thursday. Of course, dinner was followed by three - THREE! - pies. Yes, we each got our own pie... Our annual trip to see wonderful relatives in Pennsylvania was postponed by some freakishly ugly winter weather, Grace's ending and my emerging colds and the fact that three people each had his/her own pie.

This was also the first year that I didn't coerce everyone to head out to the stores before 5 a.m. mostly because of the above reasons, but also because Mary and I are already done with our Christmas shopping. We've made our lists and checked them twice, so be good for goodness sakes! You know who you are!

Saturday will feature another check on Market Street and a visit to Mary's godmother's house for dinner. It is an annual post-Thanksgiving feast of uber-gigantic proportions...

Sunday's stop: Canton, Ohio.

More later,


Mark

Our Tour and Good Times

An update to yesterday's post: Chuck the maintenance guy for the Jefferson Center, which manages the Thurber House and neighboring properties, is a terrific tour guide. He met us again at the Thurber House at 4:15 p.m. EST - shortly after my brother called to confirm the Chicago Bear's commanding victory over the Carolina Panthers.

Go Bears!

Chuck took the time to make our tour special and I was as much impressed with his generosity as I was with the Thurber facilities. The restored Victorian was reopened to the public in 1984 and was redecorated with the help of James' younger brother Robert as well as a Sears Roebuck catalog from 1913 to demonstrate the typical middle-class furnishings from that period. The piano in the parlor had a music sheet from one of James' favorite songs, "Bye, Bye Blackbird," which I noticed immediately. It was a nice touch.

One upstairs room is now a museum of Thurber mementos including pictures and letters as well as examples of his elegantly simple, gracefully funny cartoons. I was also impressed with a collection of his books translated into the many languages of the world. That James Thurber's body of work is so regarded worldwide is especially impressive when you step into his old, sparse bedroom with its second-floor view of Columbus and an approximation of the world as he knew it way back then.

The refurbished Thurber House is a fine tribute to the man and his family, and the Thurber Center next door is impressive as well. Both, though, seem to call out for more utilization. The gift shop had some nice goodies (we spent $60+) but, frankly, my collection of James Thurber books at home is more in-depth. I was hoping to buy a new copy of my favorite book, "Thurber Country," to no avail.

When you rely on volunteers to run the house who both forget to lock when they leave one day and forget to show up the next, that's a clue that other problems are in play. Though it was less than a mile from the hotel, the desk staff at the Renaissance seemingly had not heard of the Thurber House and it was not listed in the in-room guide to area activities (though the staff did look up the home and print out directions for us). The bell captain volunteered he did live on Thurber Street, however.

The Thurber House neighborhood reflects the inner city challenges that many other communities the size of Columbus face. However, the Jefferson Center concept of taking a historic neighborhood, refurbishing the homes and then opening doors to non-profit groups is both novel and spectacular.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience - and yielded new stories for me to tell for ages. That's what a literary hero's home should do for those who visit. My thanks to Chuck for the tour - and everyone responsible for establishing this wonderful landmark. My hope for the Thurber House is a revitalized presence in Columbus - and beyond!

Next stop: Corning, N.Y.

More later,


Mark

Alarms and Diversions: A Visit to the Thurber House

(In which the would-be author visits the home of his literary hero only to be confronted by chaos, confusion and comedic results.)

We are currently at the Renaissance in Columbus, Ohio awaiting a private tour of the James Thurber House. Of course, this was all the result of a curious and chaotic course of events that I will blog now that my computer is fixed...

Needless to say, the police were involved.

Over the river and through the woods to Mary's mother's house in upstate New York we're going (for Thanksgiving!). I know the way to ferry the, er, Chevy Cavalier through the bright and, uhm, open roads. Oh!

Once you start one of those songs it can be hard to make reality fit...

We departed Crystal Lake at 5:28 a.m. with two destinations in mind: The Columbus Renaissance Hotel and the James Thurber House at 77 Jefferson Street, the boyhood home of my literary hero. This was to be the culmination of a life-long dream I've had since the home opened in 1984.

We were at the hotel by 1 p.m. EST and to Thurber's house by 1:35 p.m.

Now, I had traded emails with Marlaine from the Thurber House earlier in the week who assured me: "Sundays are a good day to visit since we have tour guides available."

In addition, she told me: "Safely assume we're open unless I email you again."

She didn't. Hence, we were all goose-pimply with anticipation upon our arrival. We parked right in front of 77 Jefferson St. because the parking lot was locked shut. That should have been an omen. A cynic would have already begun to panic.

Us? We took up the offer on the front door sign and walked right in...

Nice foyer. Now, at first, we mistook the loud alarm as some sort of signal to someone, maybe an employee in the back, that guests had arrived. Then we heard a robotic voice warn us to "Exit the building immediately. The police have been notified."

Not quite the welcome we had been promised... Confused, we exited back to the front porch. Why would the door at this national landmark (a plaque assures us it is a landmark right there on the front porch) be unlocked if the house was closed? Why would the house be closed when a sign clearly says it is open Sunday? Why would I be emailed that the house was open to visitors only to be rudely threatened with arrest? Was this not an alarm but, perhaps, the voice of the infamous ghost from "My Life and Hard Times"?

"The DAY the Ghost Got In" perhaps!

Our minds whirled. That whirling coincided with the arrival of the first set of officers in a police van. The alarm had stopped, apparently convinced of our retreat, only to be started up again when the officers entered. By then, two more visitors arrived, convinced, too, by Thurber House employees, that volunteers would be running tours from 1-4 p.m. They were locals and could easily reschedule. We had driven 413 miles and I had Griswolded this stop into an unbreakable schedule calling for our departure at 6 a.m. the following morning, some seven hours before the house would allegedly be open again.

A squad car now joined the police van at the scene, alerted by the new set of alarms set off by the first set of officers. I am convinced Jefferson Street had not seen so much commotion since "The Day the Dam Broke." Certainly, it had not seen so much confusion.

The new officer joined his fellow officers inside. Mary and I amused ourselves by taking a set of pictures that appear to show me stealing Thurber's pumpkins. For that, I received a Thurber sliver from Thurber's porch. I was about to turn a little surely...

"That's a great house. I have never been in Thurber's house before," one of the officers said as he exited. The officers declined to have their pictures taken. "Nothing good ever comes out of having our pictures taken," another officer said, smiling. They DID contact the alarm company and "Jeff" was either going to show up to disable the alarm or call Thurber House employees to alert them that the door was unlocked and visitors, now numbering four, were threatening to get unruly. Or, at least, threatening to take a pumpkin home as a souvenir.

Within 20 minutes, Chuck arrived. He is in charge of maintenance for the Jefferson Center which oversees the Thurber House property. He let the four of us in, disabled the alarm, apologized for the missing volunteers, but explained his mother was stuck outside in his car. We agreed he'd call us at 4 p.m. back at the Renaissance and arrange the full-private-tour treatment!

Optimistically speaking, the worst we can expect are "More Alarms at Night."

More later,


Mark

The Indian Summer Reading Club

Summer may be over but that doesn't mean Mark's Reading Club has to end!

Get ready to be amazed at the power of the Internet, be reunited with old TV friends, mock elected leaders and laugh until your sides ache. Can I back that up? Check these out:

• I would like to see cubicles decorated a little bit differently begining tomorrow. All you need is a picture of your favorite person - politician, corporate leader, relative - on your desk top and then you can make an actual Old West wanted poster of him or/and her. Give it a try! Make a Wanted Poster of Anyone!

• Maybe you have one of those refrigerator magnet sets at home with all different words that allows you to make up goofy sentences. Well, here is the Internet version featuring the speeches of the guy NOT very high on my list these days: President Bush! George Bush Build-A-Speech

• Here's a new addictive site to keep you busy until the wee hours of the morning: TVObscurities.Com. Sure, there are loads of websites devoted to good shows that lasted seasons and seasons - but where are the sites devoted to short-lived shows like "It's About Time" or "The Girl From Uncle?" Did you even remember the "Ferris Bueller" spin-off? Go here: TV Obscurities

Here is a great site with a title that says it all: FreeDrinkRecipes.Com! FreeDrinkRecipes.Com

Ever wonder what's on TV right now in different countries? Well, wonder no more! This portal features links to tons of TV offerings from all over the world. We truly do live in a global information age...Thank you, Al Gore! TV4All Portal

If you had fun making that wanted poster, you'll love this. Have you seen those puzzles which are pictures of one image made up of tiny images (like a giant Elvis face made up of smaller images of Elvis)? Well, the geniuses at Vizog.com are now allowing you to make a mosaic collage out of any picture on your desk top by using a google.com image search.Make your favorite picture a collage using Google!

Mary found this one in a magazine: Are you tired of getting your knees bashed when the moron in the seat ahead of you on an airplane pushes his/her seat back? Well, those days are DONE thanks to this handy device that no traveler should leave behind. KneeDefender.com

I love the dry humor found in the old National Lampoon magazines, some of James Thurber's early work or those classic Monty Python or Saturday Night Live sketches. I have a rule of thumb on SNL: I only like the comedy from the era before any of the current cast was born. But that's just me. Well, if you like your humor dry, like your martini, then McSweeney.Net is for you. If you don't get it, it's OK. There's a reason SNL is still on at 10:30 p.m. on Saturdays: The death of humor. McSweeney.Net

No one needs MORE acrimony in his/her lives... Well, that's not true. We all love a good fight, as long as it involves someone else; preferably someone we don't know. Here's a site dedicated to one man's ongoing narrative about the many, many things that he and his girlfriend have fought about. Apparently, there's no Dr. Phil overseas... Did you see that picture this week of the python that tried to swallow the alligator? It's a lot like that... Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

Finally, the funniest film I have seen on the net since "Tom Cruise Kills Oprah." View this at work, if you still only have dial up at home. Someone decided to have some fun and re-edit the movie trailer for "The Shining" to make it seem like an entirely different movie. This is OUTSTANDING! The Shining trailer redited to look like a different movie

Enjoy!

More later!


Mark

How I Spent My Summer Sabbatical

How I Spent My Summer Sabbatical

By Mark Sweetwood

I spent my summer sabbatical, or at least a portion of it, with my wife at Buffalo Wild Wings in Algonquin.

There, we watched the Cubs, enjoyed Bud Lite and fell in love. No, not with each other (we're already there) but with the NTN Network. Eventually, we learned that we could bring our laptops with us and plug into the wireless network for free!

In fact, it is from Buffalo Wild Wings that I write this.

NTN is the maker of those trivia games that you can play with a controller while questions pop up on a television screen. We decided to keep our brains active by showing up a couple of days a week for some vigorous brain exercising - along with beers, Cubs and wireless fun. The wonderful and talented Kelly became our friend and her psychic bartending abilities kept us refreshed. She was powerless with the Cubs situation as were we all.

Our self-made goal of each NTN round of Countdown or Wipe Out! was threefold: 1.) We had to earn the Player's Plus bonus; 2.) We had to score in five figures and 3.) We had to win (not that I am competitive or anything). More often than not, we achieved our goals! We eventually invited my parents and other friends top join us for fun. Most came away agreeing that our lifestyle had become uncontrollably decadent and that they could not keep up with us in trivia.

Fridays were always special because that was the day the crane game is filled at BWW. As most people are aware, I am the Crane Master (as well as Death Trilogy Commissioner). We now have about two dozen critters which need adopting. Call me obsessive, but I cannot pass up a filled crane game.

We've really never been "bar regulars" before and Kelly made me feel a bit like Norm on "Cheers" whenever I came in...

KELLY: What would you say to a glass of beer, Mark?
MARK: Going Down?

KELLY: What's shaking, Mark?
MARK: All 4 cheeks and a couple of chins.

KELLY: Hey Mr. Sweetwood, there's a cold one waiting for you.
MARK: I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.

KELLY: Can I draw you a beer, Mark?
MARK: No, I know what one looks like. Just pour me one.

KELLY: How's a beer sound, Mark?
MARK: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.

(All dialogue stolen/adapted from www.jokestogo.com which stoled them from "Cheers.")

Summer has given way to the emerging urgencies of the Fall. Our lifestyle is likely to change as employment is likely to rear its intrusive head once again. Kelly will see us less, our Players Plus points will accumulate more slowly and someone else will have to collect the crane bounty.

But we had a marvelous time, while it lasted.

More later!


Mark

The Blame Game CAN Begin...

After weeks of dodging post-Katrina accountability by labeling any effort to question the federal government's response as "the blame game," the White House has apparently changed tactics...

"My biggest mistake was not recognizing, by Saturday (before the storm made landfall), that Louisiana was dysfunctional," Former FEMA chief Michael Brown told a Congressional panel Tuesday. "I very strongly personally regret that I was unable to persuade (Louisiana) Governor (Kathleen) Blanco and (New Orleans) Mayor (Ray) Nagin to sit down, get over their differences and work together. I just couldn't pull that off."

What a mope...

OK, I am done ranting about Katrina. It was a sad chapter and showed government at it's very worst. Watch this space this week for all new non-hurricane-related updates!!!!

More later,


Mark

This just in...there are POOR people in the South!

President Bush on Thursday night: "As all of us saw on television, there is also some deep, persistent poverty in this region as well."

Uhm, you didn't know that before you watched some TV? I mean, seriously, I knew that and I don't even have a staff to record the TV news on a DVD for me to slide under my door hoping I'll stumble into it without getting too mad...

In a speech in which many lines just seemed to clunk, this may have been the clunkiest. It is as if his staff is trying to make him seem even MORE aloof, which I would argue is a bad idea.

I Got My Response, Part 2

BEFORE Hurricane Katrina hit, BEFORE we knew of the horrible destruction, BEFORE all of the stupidity, I called upon President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Speaker Dennis Hastert and Congressman Don Manzullo to back an effort to order immediate leaves for any soldier who's family back home was victimized.

Nary a politician responded to me, by the way, outside of generic, automatic-generated email responses...

Shortly after the storm, the Bush Administration answered my suggestion, in a manner of speaking, by trundling out a military spokesman to say "no dice!" As I posted Sept. 2: "They're not going to be leaving early as a result of the hurricane," Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch told The Associated Press."

Just to demonstrate a new level of heartlessness, here is an excerpt from Sunday's Washington Post:

Mississippi guardsmen in Iraq refused leave time

By The Washington Post
September 11, 2005

BAGHDAD - Scores of Mississippi National Guardsmen in Iraq who lost their homes to Hurricane Katrina have been refused even 15-day leaves to aid their displaced families, told by commanders there are too few U.S. troops in Iraq to spare them, according to guardsmen.

About 600 members of the Mississippi Guard's 155th Brigade Combat Team, posted south of Baghdad, live in the parts of southern Mississippi and southeast Louisiana hit hardest by Katrina, Maj. Neil F. Murphy Jr., a spokesman with the 2nd Marine Expeditionary Force, said by e-mail Saturday. The brigade is attached to the expeditionary force.

Guard members and relatives said in e-mails or telephone interviews that virtually all of the roughly 300 soldiers of the 155th Brigade's B and C companies had their homes destroyed or severely damaged in the hurricane. Eighty Mississippi Guard members have been granted emergency leave, Murphy said. The rest have been refused leave, told by their brigade command that all other forward operating bases "are tapped out and cannot send troops," one Mississippi Guard member wrote in an e-mail that was shared by a family member.


To say I am disgusted would be an understatement.

More later,


Mark

Tired of Stupidity

The response to Hurricane Katrina has been marked by unimaginable stupidity. Sadly, that's just about the only thing one could call "unimaginable" in this horrible chapter.

The Adminstration's line is "There'll be a time for blame. Later. When everyone forgets about how stupidly we reacted." As White House spokesman Scott McClellan put it Wednesday: "...I'm just not going to engage in the blame game or finger-pointing that you're trying to get me to engage." In order to protect President Bush's image amidst a flood of criticism, some hysterical conservatives are spinning wild webs of attacks against anyone who would dare question the federal response - even the victims themselves.

Witness Rush Limbaugh: "New Orleans has been run by liberal Democrat governments, people, for as long as I can remember, and there's an entitlement mentality there. You are never going to have a thriving city relying on handouts, or on welfare payments, whatever you want to call them. It's just not going to happen."

Yikes. And that was No. 2 to the stupidest thing said this week. Enter the First Mother, Barbara Bush, who told a radio interviewer Monday after touring Houston's Astrodome: "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Yeah, well, here in the uhm, "No White House Spin Zone," with apologies to O'Reilly, I did want to explode one bid of stupidity: All the talk about the "unimaginable" destruction of a Category 4 or 5 direct hit on New Orleans.

Or, as President Bush told Diane Sawyer on ABC's "Good Morning America" on Sept. 1: "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees."

Ah, er, uhm, Mr. President, ah, you might want to go here:

Times-Picayune 2002 Series

The New Orleans Times-Picayune newspaper warned repeatedly about the dire consequences of a direct strike by a major hurricane. In June 2002, they published a special series, "Washing Away," which is prescient. This part is most interesting:

"A stronger storm on a slightly different course - such as the path (Hurricane) Georges (in 1998) was on just 16 hours before landfall - could have realized emergency officials' worst-case scenario: hundreds of billions of gallons of lake water pouring over the levees into an area averaging 5 feet below sea level with no natural means of drainage. That would turn the city and the east bank of Jefferson Parish into a lake as much as 30 feet deep, fouled with chemicals and waste from ruined septic systems, businesses and homes. Such a flood could trap hundreds of thousands of people in buildings and in vehicles."

Spooky, eh? Not to be out-done, the fine folks at National Geographic did an outstanding feature in 2004 called "Gone With the Water." You can read it here:

Gone With the Water

You might want to focus on this part:

"The storm hit Breton Sound with the fury of a nuclear warhead, pushing a deadly storm surge into Lake Pontchartrain. The water crept to the top of the massive berm that holds back the lake and then spilled over. Nearly 80 percent of New Orleans lies below sea level—more than eight feet below in places—so the water poured in. A liquid brown wall washed over the brick ranch homes of Gentilly, over the clapboard houses of the Ninth Ward, over the white-columned porches of the Garden District, until it raced through the bars and strip joints on Bourbon Street like the pale rider of the Apocalypse. As it reached 25 feet (eight meters) over parts of the city, people climbed onto roofs to escape it."

Maybe, Mr. President, what you meant to say was that no one in your Administration anticipated the breach while you all were on vacation a couple of weeks ago...

From Time Magazine: "The White House is 'very, very slow sometimes,' says a former Administration official. Besides, members of the A team were on vacation: chief of staff Andy Card was in Maine; Dick Cheney was in Wyoming; even Condoleezza Rice was out of town, shoe-shopping in Manhattan. Many of Bush's best p.r. minds, including media adviser Mark McKinnon, were in Greece at the wedding of White House communications director Nicolle Devenish. Had they been around, perhaps Bush would not have been accompanied only by his dog Barney when he returned from vacation in Crawford."  

Well, so much for those August-long vacations! What with terrorists attacking or hurricanes attacking...it's always something! It would seem being President is pretty much a full-time job. Leave the extended summer vacations to the out-of-work newspaper guys of the world...

Or at least READ something every now and then! At least, then, you wouldn't sound so, well, stupid.

Speaking of stupid, just for fun, here's a video of CNN weatherman Chad Myers flipping out on camera as Katrina approached the Gulf Coast:

Myers Flips Out

Yikes!

More later,


Mark

P.S. Don't forget to give: Red Cross Donation

How slow were they...?

From David Letterman's Thursday night monologue as he did his Carsonesque critique of the previous night's "horrible" audience:

"I thought it was the Bush Administration... because they were so slow to respond..."

Well, I Got My Response....

...and it is pathetic (what a surprise, given the Bush Administration's overall pathetic response to the disaster left in the wake of Hurricane Katrina). From the Northwest Herald's Associated Press report this morning:

National Guardsmen to stay in Iraq despite storm

The ASSOCIATED PRESS

BAGHDAD, Iraq – National Guard troops from Louisiana and other Gulf states will not be pulled out of Iraq ahead of schedule despite the devastation from Hurricane Katrina, the U.S. command said Thursday.

Some units are due to leave next month anyway after a year in Iraq, but the process could take weeks to complete.

"They're not going to be leaving early as a result of the hurricane," Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch told The Associated Press. He said the military had set up help lines for servicemen from the Southern states hardest-hit by the hurricane trying to contact family members.

Still, pressure appeared to be building for the hastened withdrawal of some troops from Iraq, allowing them to return to their flood-ravaged home states.

Brig. Gen. John P. Basilica, commander of the Louisiana National Guard's 256th Enhanced Separate Brigade, asked his division commanders in Baghdad to hasten the Louisiana-based brigade's departure, said Lt. Col. Jordan Jones, battalion commander of the New Orleans-based 141st Field Artillery Battalion, which is part of the brigade.

"We were on schedule to leave anyway and he was trying to expedite that," Jones said. The 256th could start leaving Iraq in about a week, if the departure was granted, and begin arriving in Louisiana a few days later.

The request came as 10,000 National Guard troops from across the United States began pouring into Louisiana and Mississippi to shore up security, rescue and relief operations. The new units brought the number of troops dedicated to the effort to more than 18,000, in what may be the largest military response to a natural disaster.

In Doha, Qatar, a spokesman for the U.S. regional command said there would be no large-scale shifting of U.S. troops from Iraq and Afghanistan to help with disaster relief.

But Lt. Col. Trey Cate said military officials were exploring ways to bring individual soldiers home to take care of their families who may have special needs after the devastating storm.

It could be tough to get service members to some especially hard-hit areas because of flooding or mandatory evacuations.

"There are lots of different options of getting soldiers back there," Cate said. "We're going to do our best to take care of the troops and their families."

Navy Cmdr. Jeff Breslau, a U.S. 5th Fleet spokesman in Bahrain, said no U.S. warships in the Persian Gulf would be redirected to disaster relief in the Gulf of Mexico, but individual sailors with family emergencies could be granted home leave.

The Air Force also said it was considering releasing troops from the affected areas.

"U.S. Central Command Air Forces is currently reviewing our ability to send airmen affected by Hurricane Katrina home early from deployment," said Capt. David Small, spokesman for U.S. Central Command Air Forces in Qatar.

Katrina struck as about 3,700 soldiers from the 256th were in the middle of preparations to return to their base in Lafayette, La., after spending nearly a year in combat in Iraq.

Lt. Col. Steve Boylan, spokesman for the U.S. military command in Baghdad, said the 256th is expected to leave Iraq by November – if their deployment is not extended. Boylan said the Army was providing the Louisiana Guardsmen extra Internet and phone lines to contact family and friends affected by the hurricane.

Moving troops and equipment out of Iraq is a process that can take weeks. Most units enter and leave Iraq through Kuwait. Equipment earmarked for incoming units must be cleaned and repaired.

The 256th includes the 141st Field Artillery Battalion, based at Camp Liberty, Saddam Hussein's palace complex near Baghdad International Airport. The 400-member unit has suffered one killed and several wounded during its tour in Iraq.

Lt. Taysha Deaton, a spokeswoman for the unit, said most of the soldiers had been glued to television sets watching scenes of their neighborhoods trying to cope with wind damage and flooding.

No Reply At All

On Sunday night, with what was then a Category 5 hurricane bearing down on Louisiana and Mississippi, I sent the following letter to President Bush, Vice President Cheney, Speaker of the House U.S. Rep Dennis Hastert and U.S. Rep. Don Manzullo. Five days later, much like the federal response to the disaster wrought by Hurricane Katrina, I have had no response. I think this is an important consideration but I am doubtful that our government has its priorities in line, yet.

Here is my note - and the accompanying very prescient AP article:


I am sure many ideas and plans have been considered by the White House in the past 48 hours. Here is one more that you may NOT have considered but deserves immediate consideration:  
  
Is the president prepared on Tuesday to sign an executive order granting immediate - perhaps even permanent - leave to any U.S. soldier abroad with families victimized by Hurricane Katrina?  
  
It would be bad enough to be serving in Iraq with the normal anxieties about life back home. But it would seem cruel to keep someone there when his or her family might well need them to face the extraordinary circumstances.  
  
Please give this your immediate attention,  
  
Mark M. Sweetwood  
1019 Boxwood Dr.  
Crystal Lake, IL 60014  
(815) 477-2198  
(815) 276-7271  
  
Here is the article which prompted my idea and my concern:  
  
Hurricane Could Leave 1 Million Homeless   
By MATT CRENSON, AP National Writer  
  
 When Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans on Monday, it could turn one of America's most charming cities into a vast cesspool tainted with toxic chemicals, human waste and even coffins released by floodwaters from the city's legendary cemeteries.  
  
 Experts have warned for years that the levees and pumps that usually keep New Orleans dry have no chance against a direct hit by a Category 5 storm.  
  
 That's exactly what Katrina was as it churned toward the city. With top winds of 165 mph and the power to lift sea level by as much as 28 feet above normal, the storm threatened an environmental disaster of biblical proportions, one that could leave more than 1 million people homeless.  
  
 "All indications are that this is absolutely worst-case scenario," Ivor van Heerden, deputy director of the Louisiana State University Hurricane Center, said Sunday afternoon.  
  
 The center's latest computer simulations indicate that by Tuesday, vast swaths of New Orleans could be under water up to 30 feet deep. In the French Quarter, the water could reach 20 feet, easily submerging the district's iconic cast-iron balconies and bars.  
  
 Estimates predict that 60 percent to 80 percent of the city's houses will be destroyed by wind. With the flood damage, most of the people who live in and around New Orleans could be homeless.  
  
 "We're talking about in essence having ? in the continental United States ? having a refugee camp of a million people," van Heerden said.  
  
 Aside from Hurricane Andrew, which struck Miami in 1992, forecasters have no experience with Category 5 hurricanes hitting densely populated areas.  
  
 "Hurricanes rarely sustain such extreme winds for much time. However we see no obvious large-scale effects to cause a substantial weakening the system and it is expected that the hurricane will be of Category 4 or 5 intensity when it reaches the coast," National Hurricane Center meteorologist Richard Pasch said.  
  
 As they raced to put meteorological instruments in Katrina's path Sunday, wind engineers had little idea what their equipment would record.  
  
 "We haven't seen something this big since we started the program," said Kurt Gurley, a University of Florida engineering professor. He works for the Florida Coastal Monitoring Program, which is in its seventh year of making detailed measurements of hurricane wind conditions using a set of mobile weather stations.  
  
 Experts have warned about New Orleans' vulnerability for years, chiefly because Louisiana has lost more than a million acres of coastal wetlands in the past seven decades. The vast patchwork of swamps and bayous south of the city serves as a buffer, partially absorbing the surge of water that a hurricane pushes ashore.  
  
 Experts have also warned that the ring of high levees around New Orleans, designed to protect the city from floodwaters coming down the Mississippi, will only make things worse in a powerful hurricane. Katrina is expected to push a 28-foot storm surge against the levees. Even if they hold, water will pour over their tops and begin filling the city as if it were a sinking canoe.  
  
After the storm passes, the water will have nowhere to go.  
  
 In a few days, van Heerden predicts, emergency management officials are going to be wondering how to handle a giant stagnant pond contaminated with building debris, coffins, sewage and other hazardous materials.  
  
 "We're talking about an incredible environmental disaster," van Heerden said.  
  
 He puts much of the blame for New Orleans' dire situation on the very levee system that is designed to protect southern Louisiana from Mississippi River floods.  
  
 Before the levees were built, the river would top its banks during floods and wash through a maze of bayous and swamps, dropping fine-grained silt that nourished plants and kept the land just above sea level.  
  
 The levees "have literally starved our wetlands to death" by directing all of that precious silt out into the Gulf of Mexico, van Heerden said.  
  
 It has been 40 years since New Orleans faced a hurricane even comparable to Katrina. In 1965, Hurricane Betsy, a Category 3 storm, submerged some parts of the city to a depth of seven feet.  
  
 Since then, the Big Easy has had nothing but near misses. In 1998, Hurricane Georges headed straight for New Orleans, then swerved at the last minute to strike Mississippi and Alabama. Hurricane Lili blew herself out at the mouth of the Mississippi in 2002. And last year's Hurricane Ivan obligingly curved to the east as it came ashore, barely grazing a grateful city.  
  
 
 

Katrina Aftermath

Hey, all! Sorry for the lack of updates, but I have been VERY busy. I do appreciate all the phone calls and emails complaining about my lack of updates, though!

Now, I have much to say, but pressing matters take priority.

In light of the massive destruction and heartache left in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, there are TWO ways you can help the American Red Cross and your fellow citizens. Well, three if you count saying a prayer...

The first, is to make a donation. If you can spare some cash, please click here:

Red Cross Donation

They are accepting any amount. They are just desperate for your help. If you prefer giving blood, please call 1-800-448-3543.

But there is something else you can do that would greatly aid the Red Cross in the future: You can be better prepared.

Look, there will be plenty of time to analyze why so many people failed to heed the warning and flee this massive storm that was heading their way. I have a feeling this event will serve as a lesson for all. But disasters can strike anywhere at any time. A hurricane or tropical storm down South. A tornado or a blizzard here in the Midwest. An earthquake out West. Sometimes, disasters strike without warning or circumstances prevent a person's ability to flee.

As you watch the futility of rescue workers attempting to help those in need coupled with dwindling supplies you have to be struck by how much less pain there might have been if only people would have heeded the Red Cross BEFORE the storm. You can't rein in nature, but you can be better prepared.

How prepared would you be if you faced a natural disaster tomorrow? Even if you maintained a roof over your head, how would you and your family fare in a sudden absence of fresh water, phone service and electricity? Do you have any nonperishable food supplies in reserve? How about an emergency medical kit that someone hasn't pilfered all of the bandages out of? Do the batteries in your flashlight work?

Go here:

Be Prepared!

Everything you need to know to be prepared is right there. While this horrible disaster and the human suffering is still foremost in your mind, take some time this weekend and put a kit together. Collect what you need and put it in a plastic storage container that you can tuck away in the basement so that when disaster strikes your world, your family will have a fighting chance. And you might be one less victim for the Red Cross to have to worry about in the short-term aftermath of a major disaster.

More later!

Mark

Blast, Part 2

I have been thinking a lot about life and change lately.

My new gig, essentially laying around the house, has provided me ample time to reflect. And I discovered that I still am learning lessons, even at the ripe old age of 45.

Now, I've always felt that I was in a state of evolution. Sure, like most people, I knew everything when I was 20. Somehow, I still managed to become editor of a daily newspaper by 29, married at 37, publisher by 42 and semi-retired at 45. Along the way, I have always amazed myself by my capacity to learn. Now I have this rare gift: Time to pause and actually put aspects of my life in some perspective.

When this year began, neither Mary nor I expected to end up at home. We're both workaholics, fiercely competitive and each have had some kind of regular job to go to since our teens. Yet, the two pushy know-it-all-control-freaks - either of whom could easily have harpooned the other with a paint stick just seven years ago - have somehow evolved into a supportive, enduring, loving, attentive couple. Despite the office pools, we've stuck it out and will observe our 8th anniversary later this month.

Yeah, it's almost sickening. For better or worse? This experience is something in-between. But if it has to be, in the words of the great Paul Williams, "you and me against the world," we kind of like the odds. We wouldn't have it any other way. Well, at least I wouldn't.

Hence we have been bravely embarking on a series of home projects in our free time, which we manage to find nearly every day. We took two days to restain the pool deck. We're renovating our third bathroom - and changed light fixtures in two. We built four deck chairs and Mary is making new drapes and valances. Certain episodes aside, calm has reigned. Now, maybe it is because we aren't shoe-horning a project in between 10-hour-a-day jobs and weekend events, but we have even found some, er, joy in shopping at Lowe's together, choosing paints and appropriate accoutrements.

I'm sure people see us holding hands and skipping down the aisles and just presume we're drunk...

That said, not all has been without incident. The other day, Mary assisted me as we built a "space saver" (the polite way to refer to those shelves that fit around and over toilets) and I became extremely angry. My pet peeve in any project in which I am required to build some furniture-thingy, is when the instructions are wrong. Well this particular item, from the fine folks at Target, had 13 steps and the very first one was clearly WRONG! It was instructing me to put the cam screw where the wooden guide rod was supposed to go and vice versa.

Now Mary had a simple solution: Just reverse them. Voila! My solution was a tad less impetuous, the result of years of putting together crappy wooden furniture. I sought a studied approach requiring a careful examination of all of the steps in the instructions to make sure that reversing the placement of those beginning steps would not render the entire toilet shelf (the impolite way to refer to those shelves that fit around and over the commode) obsolete. First I had to have a screaming, crying, curse-filled rant invoking God's wrath to bestow all sorts of ills upon anyone who has ever worked at Target and their families. And their pets. And the future fruits of their respective loins.

Screaming fits make a lot of women nervous, Mary included. But if prayers are answered, God has something pretty bad in store for anyone who has ever had anything to do with Target.

I'm off an a tangent. Sorry.

Eventually, that project was back on track and the finished product looks fine in the newly renovated master bathroom that I am not allowed in.

Earlier in the week, we had another small detour in the road to typical household calm. Mary had gone upstairs to prepare that same bathroom for painting. I had gone to run errands and do some banking. I arrived home to discover Mary was no longer working on the bathroom, but, instead, was working on recovering an ottoman. Thinking nothing of it, I sat down in my chair to watch Judge Judy give someone what-for. No one gives good what-for like Judge Judy. Something caught my eye and I looked toward the ceiling to see giant wet spots.

I was pretty confident that they weren't there in 1998 when we bought the house or even earlier that morning before the errands...

"Honey, why is the ceiling wet?" was my reasoned query. She gave a sheepish look as she came into the room. "Oh, THAT. A bucket of water fell off the toilet and spilled..."

Notice it "fell." It wasn't pushed or the result of any human intervention. Much of the water poured into the air grate in the floor and some how leaked from a duct into the family room ceiling, I surmised. In reality, it looked at first like some bigger disaster occurred rather than mere water dribbled from a bucket. I've attached an illustration of what I really think happened, though I have no proof. The good news: Much of it dried and disappeared within a few hours.



In the old days, this could have been the setting for a fierce battle royale. Now? I simply said: "This is the last time I let you and your friend Viv install a shower." Seriously, so great is my love for this remarkable woman, the teasing all-but ended within 24 hours!

So here is what I learned at 45: Lots of things can happen to you in a lifetime. Ferris Bueller summed it up pretty well: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." I am grateful for this time to look around and even more grateful to have this wonderful person with which to enjoy it.



Mark

Blast from the past...

Happy August!

Now, I'm not doing this because I am lazy. No, really. Seriously. I have a method to my madness this time. In order to make a larger point in my next blog, I need to take you back seven years to May 1998. Back then, I had a weekly column for the Northwest Herald and I devoted one missive to my account of Mary and Mark's first joint home improvement project: Painting the basement.

My usual attempts at Thurberian embellishments aside, it is pretty close to a detailed, factual representation of every married couple's (or, at least, husband's) worst nightmare. Enjoy! And come back Friday for the sequel!


Mark


From 1998:
Those home improvement shows on TV represent the single, greatest threat to any marriage.

I stumbled onto this fact on my third day of being a homeowner, in hour No. 3 of the six-hour basement-painting marathon, just as we were renouncing our wedding vows.

Now, who was at fault and why she was at fault is irrelevant. What is important is what we learned from this episode: Namely, that those home shows can lead to far more violence than ‘‘COPS.’’

The scenario is as such: Folks watch these half-hour shows on stations such as cable’s ‘‘The Home & Garden Channel.’’ In less than 30 minutes, the show’s host is able to undertake and complete a project like installing a new foundation to a home or remodeling an entire kitchen. He or she completes the task without breaking a sweat, making any mistakes, or even running to the store, since he or she seemingly has an endless supply of everything needed for such a project.

Now, some people who watch these shows believe they are seeing reality and are inspired by the ease by which these projects can be accomplished. Of course, like most things television, this so-called ‘‘ease’’ is a big, fat lie. They don’t show the show’s staff trudging down to Sear’s Hardware to get all the stuff for the prima donna host. They edit out all the mistakes he or she makes. Make-up artists stand-by between shots to mop the seat from the host's brow. Time-lapse photography makes hours seem like seconds. You cannot, for instance, re-tile an entire shower stall in less than 30 minutes, complete with a catchy show theme and commercials. I’m sorry if I just shattered any illusions out there. My informal poll tells me the viewers are mainly women, but I am sure some guys watch, too, though I’d rather not meet any guy who does

Marital strife occurs when those inspired by these shows drag their unsuspecting spouses into projects better left to professionals. Worse, these same people, even though they’ve never actually undertaken projects themselves, are now instant experts because they saw it done on TV.

This is when good marriages can turn bad.

Now, I had never painted an entire finished basement before Memorial Day. Nor had I previously used a paint-stick. All I knew was that the wife had seen some show where all this was done with ease and she had confirmed the ease in conversations with other women, presumably those who had seen the same show.
And, to be honest, I wanted the basement bar to be another color other than purplish gray, which is, by the way, a very strange color to paint an entire basement. This does make me a willing accessory to the entire episode, I admit.

After wasting some time with the wrong paint (bought after consulting with a hardware store employee who answered my query of ‘‘What do you know about paint?’’ with ‘‘Everything!’’ which also turned out to be a lie) we began our respective tasks. I was to run the paint-stick roller while she taped and trimmed.
Covering purplish gray with antique white is probably not the best of ideas but darned if I was was gonna put a primer coat down over the entire basement. So, as I gained experience confidence with the paint stick, I gradually came to the conclusion that most areas were gonna have to take two coats. Also, I learned paint looks less even until it dries, when all artistic ills seemingly evaporate.

As I toiled, my expert spouse made several comments (‘‘It doesn’t look even....’’ ‘‘Maybe if you painted more slowly....’’ ‘‘You are destroying the entire basement, you moron!’’ ‘‘As God is my witness, you will rot in Hades, you bumbling jerk!’’ Or something to that effect...) that eventually pushed me over the edge.

‘‘I never said I was the best painter,’’ I finally yelled. ‘‘I said I was the best painter YOU could afford.’’

Hours later, I realized I had subconsciously stolen that line from my father, having found himself in a similar confrontation with his own painting expert.

Eventually, we were done. I noticed that my expert’s high painting standards seemed to subside once she finished the taping and actually began to trim and realize how hard it is to cover purplish gray with antique white.

We resolved – for the sake of our marriage – to never undertake such a project again – at least not together. The basement looks great, though. In fact, maybe we’ll find that spare half-hour this weekend to remodel the kitchen...

Lazin' on a sunny afternoon...

Cause I love to live so pleasantly
Live this life of luxury
Lazy on a sunny afternoon
In the summertime...
In the summertime...
In the summertime...

- Ray Davies

Well, not exactly "lazy." OK, well, kinda lazy...

We're just back from visiting my brother and his wife in beautiful Normal, Ill. during the hottest weekend of the 21st Century... How's that for hype!?! TV ain't got nothing on me!

Sorry for the lack of updates: Between book writing and travel and household chores, the poor site has been ignored! I can either write for the book or write for here so I am busy trying to get my priorities equalized. And, of course, I have my hobbies. Cliff Ward and I went to the riverboat in Elgin last week and separated Queen Victoria from a few hundred dollars of her cash. She was NOT amused. A $500 win on the "Wheel of Fortune" machine (third one in from the left) in the smoke-free lower level was the big difference. I had a nice run on roulette (again) and had some other nice hits. Sadly, The Terminator game that was so fun in Vegas was just a disappointment in Elgin. It was really the only thing that didn't pay...

I think I understand how actually retired seniors with lots of free time on their hands end up on the boats so frequently. Before my semi-retirement, I think I was there two-three times a year. In the past three months, I've been aboard about six times - always a winner except for that ill-fated voyage with lunch partners a month ago (I forgot to ask permission to blog them).

Speaking of incessant gambling, we hit the lottery! Well, the scratch-off version, anyway. On Friday we were running errands and I bought four $10 tickets and won $130. On the way back from Normal Sunday, I was spellbound and decided to invest $80 of the winnings in four $20 tickets. I know. Call me crazy. Get me the 1-800-GAMBLING number (which, I believe, is 1-800-GAMBLING). Then also call me a $300 winner!

Amazing! On Tuesday, I invested half the winnings into supplies for the big pool deck resurfacing which, finally, takes place on Wednesday, weather permitting. Scratch another chore off the list. That "lazy on a sunny afternoon" thing is gonna have to wait a couple days, Mr. Davies...

Hey, but YOU can still be lazy if ya want! Check out these cool new additions to Mark's Summer Reading Club:

•Newspodder.com The world of podcasting keeps evolving. Check out this new take on an evolving media.

•TheDunkTank.com Tired of me? Tired of anyone in particular? Well, all you need is a picture of someone on your desktop. Follow the easy directions and you'll be dunking someone special in no time thanks to the fine folks at Applebee's! My picture is conveniently located at the right.

•Inside a Tornado Ever wondered what it looks inside a tornado? Well, the folks at National Geographic have a cool site for you and it looks a lot like the movie "Twister" (except the tornado is not so fake looking).

•MovieMistakes.com For all of you who cursed me for the addictive "Findadeath.com" here's another one to keep you up nights. This site has catalogued film flubs of your favorite movies! Bet ya can't look up just one...

•Unfortunate Greeting Cards This is, honest-to-God, the funniest site I have seen in a while. These are actual greeting cards that are, well, unfortunate! You gotta see it to believe it.

•Snopes.com Are you tired of friends, family members, co-workers and other annoying people forwarding you some email message that ends up to be totally bogus? Why did I suddenly start channeling "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?" Damn moviemistakes.com! Anyway, even a monkey can fact-check an urban legend here - so there's no excuse for forwarding crap (but, imagine the fun you'll have pointing out to a co-worker that this email allegedly detailing a press conference given by actor and former Marine R. Lee Ermey is, like, dude, wicked wrong).

•London Cam Want to keep an eye on London in wake of the bombings? Here's a cool cam aimed at famed Trafalgar Square.

•CelebrityDeathBeeper.com You give them your email address and when Scotty from Star Trek dies, you'll know first. As Death Trilogy Commissioner, I find this to be an essential service!

•Batfan63: A Dark Knight for a Dark World My brother, of Batman fame, has started his own blog and I thought I'd give him a plug.

Have fun!

Mark

She flies through the air...

Becky's Circus is on the air! (You should be able to hear the opening theme to "Bozo's Circus" in your head right now!)



And, as it turns out, IN the air! The daring young woman flying with ease is Becky Stewart, one of the many folks I had the good fortune to work with at the Kane County Chronicle for a few years. Becky is back from vacationing at Runaway Bay, a Beaches resort in Jamaica. Becky was chosen (probably because of her quiet, shy nature) to take part in an actual trapeze act at the resort. She reports she had a blast!

Becky is one of the most competitive, fun people I have had the pleasure of meeting in my years of hanging around newspapers. She loves to beat goals (and no one beat herself worse when she occasionally missed one). Recently, she beat her goal in a triathlon - and she's competing again this weekend in Milwaukee with her husband, Rich. In typical Becky fashion, she writes "He has never done anything like this and if he knows what is good for him, he will NOT pass me in the race!!  :)"

See!?! Stay out of Becky's way, Rich!

Becky works in the same department with the very creative Suzanne Kathro, a frequent contributor to this blog. They make quite a team! So much personality and creativity!

Hey, if you'd like to see your vacation pictures posted here in Mark's World, drop me a note! I'd love to hear from you and share your pictures with the world!


Mark

Hey, you lousy liberals! Get a life, conservatives!

If your family is anything like my mine, you spend a lot of time debating who's the biggest liberal and/or conservative, as the case may be. In fact, this goes on at offices (I do hear), softball diamonds and even in the hallowed halls of our government!

Finally, to settle the debate, I offer this test over there on the right hand side, just above the Simpsons link: How Liberal/Conservative Are You?

This simple test, if honestly answered, will tell you just how liberal and/or conservative you are! Then you can change the debate to: "Well, I may be a social liberal but I am 50 percent conservative when it comes to crime!" That will pretty much confuse and end any such debate.

The test is fun but it also makes a good point: Very few of us are totally one way or the other - which makes labeling such a total waste of time. Our country has been enveloped in this senseless debate long enough. Take the test and share it with your friends, family, office and softball team. But, please, keep it out of the hands of the politicians!

Mark

P.S. Or try here: How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

It's Clobberin' Time!

According to the Associated Press: "The latest superhero movie may have been just fantastic enough to snap Hollywood's longest modern losing streak at the box office. The comic-book adaptation "Fantastic Four" raked in $56 million during its first three days, apparently helping to end a swoon in which domestic movie revenues had been down 19 weekends in a row compared to last year's."

This is sobering news for my great friend Brad and brother Eric who, on this very page, refuted my notion that the "Fantastic Four" movie would open larger than the "Batman Begins" nice, little $49 million opening.

Brad and I take turns hosting Marvel movie premieres, which invaribly leads us to be the oldest folks at midnight showings. While I agree with Brad - and differ from fellow fanboy, Northwest Herald film critic Jeff Westhoff - that the "FF" movie left something to be desired in terms of the script, I did not think it deserved the ugly bashing witnessed nationwide. It was mostly enjoyable pablum for those who spent the better part of the past 40 years wondering what the Fantastic Four would look like on the big screen.

Of course, Brad and I, as we are want to do, took this to another level. After we watched the latest effort at midnight Thursday, we came back to my place to switch on the big screen to watch my bootlegged copy of the 1994 Roger Corman effort that was shelved and never officially released. The current version IS superior, depite the reviews,

The good news is that despite obvious script weaknesses, the "Fantastic Four" positioned itself perfectly for a terrific sequel! All it needs now is a competent script and different director! And, the Negative Zone!

More later!

Mark

Viva Las Vegas!

Bright light city gonna set my soul on fire...

We are just back from Las Vegas! Viva! The Paris is still beautiful. The food at Ah Sin! is still delectable. The suite was OUTSTANDING - as were the comps!

If you go to Vegas and frequent the same hotel/company, they sure learn to take care of you. However, there was one huge drawback: The Elvis slots are disappearing! We had to trudge down to O'Shea's to find some Elvis slots - and those were in bad shape and situated near the front door. It was hot and loud where the machines were situated and when the Elvis video's DID play (that was a gamble in itself) you could barely hear him!

Boo!

So, we had to make do and here is our list of the best of our favorite new slot games:

1.) Terminator! This is a great penny game based largely on the first "Terminator" movie - although you play it at the maximum level for the best paybacks (25 lines at 5 cents per line for $1.25 a spin). We had some great runs on this game and there is a bonus spin called "Crush the Terminator" in which the object is to push the right buttons to keep the struggling Terminator at bay. My best "Crush" score - surviving six rounds - payed 11,880 credits or $118.80 on a $1.25 bet. Meanwhile, at the Paris, four games pay into a single progressive jackpot - someone hit the $1,500 while we left the game for dinner!

2.) Star Wars! Yes, there is a new slots game based on the Star Wars universe featuring film clips of familiar characters. This features 30 lines and the opportunity to play 10 cents per line for a top bet of $3.00. This was a lot of fun and featured a "Death Star" bonus in which the player can earn big dollars while destroying the dreaded Death Star. And if Darth Vader and Obi-Wan Kenobee show up at the same time, you get to watch a laser battle. Always choose Darth Vader - the dark side pays big!

3.) Monte Carlo. This is a game reminiscent of the old Wheel of Fortune game. You bet three quarters and hope to get a spin of the wheel above the machine. The game also features big payoffs for three 7's and a "10 Free Spin" mode. More mindless than Terminator or Star Wars, but fun nonetheless.

4.) Fifty Play Video Poker. This is a nickel game that allows you to play 50 hands simultaneously! Every so often I would walk by, put in $20, play one hand of Deuces Wild and then cash out to see what I won. The best: Almost $274 on a single bet because I was dealt a two deuces and an ace and king of spades. When I drew the other hands, I had, among other hands, six royal flushes with deuces!

5.) Tiki Torches. I was getting a little sour on this game as we left - it played so well when we were there in February. It's fun and I love all things tiki but I did not have many huge payoffs this time. This is a 20-line penny machine with the opportunity to play up to 10 credits per line. If you get three pearls on the same payline, you get eight free spins and if you avoid MORE pearls, the tiki gods are awakened for huge payoffs. In February, I hit the three pearls at a 10-cent play and won over 27,000 credits! OK, that's just $270 but I was excited!

Meanwhile, I have been busy putting together a new round of fun for you for the latest excursion into Mark's Summer Reading Club:

• badcookie.com If you like fortune cookies and always hoped for real mean ones and want to skip the carbs, check this site out!

• birthdaycalculator.com Plug in your birthday and this calculator will give you a lot of interesting data in return. As I type this, I am currently 1,431,599,506 seconds old. Yikes!

• testycopyeditors.org Everyone who has ever worked at a newspaper knows the copy desk can be testy - and here's a site to prove it! Actually, this is a fun read as copy editors vent about reporters, editors, life, etc.

• cleanyourscreenforfree.com As my free gift to you, this site will actually clean the inside of your computer screen for free! Really! Well, kinda...

• Morphyourface.com This site allows you to upload a picture of your face - or a friend's face or even an enemy's face - and morph it in to goofy new looks.

• Mark's Tiki Bar Tunes If you have iTunes, go here to check out my iMix of great tiki bar tunes.

• Suzanne Kathro's Photo Blog I had the great fortune to work with Suzanne at the Kane County Chronicle. But it wasn't until I started my blog that I learned she is an avid blogger from way back. She operates this photo blog called: "That Farmer's Wife - Images from the land of corn & soybeans." It turns out Suzanne is an accomplished photographer. And I just thought she was a great person! Check it out!

More later! Sorry the trip cut into my updates!


Mark

We've Upgraded our Amenities!

Howdy!

As ol' James Buffett might say, the weather is here, I wish you were beautiful! That seems more witty in song than in print...

The weather has been beautiful and we wish you were here to share it with us. Here at the famous Casa de Sweetwood Bed & Breakfast, we have augmented our outdoor amenities with you in mind. From the tiki umbrella over our deck table to the new 8x8-foot awning over the new deck bar, you can relax in comfort while choosing sun or shade! You might even find yourself lulled to a nap by the sounds of our gently flowing bamboo water fountain. And our pool now features a floating bar with four floating bar stools!

As always, you can tell the pool is open when you hear Buffet blaring loud enough to scare the neighbors!

All we ask is that you don't hassle one of the owners, Senior Sweetwood, about when he is going to get around to redoing the pool deck...

Summer reservations are going fast! Contact the owners for details.

Meanwhile, you may have noticed augmentations here at Mark's World. The most obvious is a zany, as Jon Stewart might say, moment of zen with the Random Surrealism Generator which will spew a pithy thought - just for you! - every time you visit. As I typed this blog I encountered "I'm afraid I must bottle my frying pan." Hmmm... Indeed!

Today's website suggestion for Mark's Summer Reading Club is: The "Fantastic Four" movie site: FantasticFourMovie.com

The big Marvel blockbuster opens July 8 and will make you forget about "Batman Begins" and that goofy Tom Cruise snoozer "War of the Worlds." Mmmmmmm... Jessica Alba... That'll wake up the summer box office! And talk about perfect casting: "The Shield's" Michael Chiklis as the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing! In fact, I have a bet with my best friend Brad that the Fantastic Four weekend opening will destroy the $49 million of "Batman Begins." He will be humbled once again!

Enjoy the weather!


Mark

P.S. This is the funniest thing I have seen in years: tom cruise.mov

Summer Reading Club

Now that I have all sorts of free time to, uh, to do, uhm, stuff, I have run across some fascinating new web sites. I will share them with you periodically in a new segment I like to call "Mark's Summer Reading Club."

When you get some free time, check these out:

• http://www.saulbass.net/psychostudio Think you are better than Hitchcock? Then redit that infamous shower scene!

• http://www.tripadvisor.com Reviews of actual vacation spots by actual people who report actual experiences - good and bad. Of course, the bas experiences are the funniest!

• http://www.podcastingnews.com Continually updated site exploring Podcast innovations.

• http://findadeath.com A truly decadent concept: Not only does it let you know whether your favorite stars of the past are dead, but provides details on the each celeb's final days and pictures of their final homes as well as final resting places. It is written in a shameless, disgusting, tawdry style - and completely irresistible.

• http://www.regrettheerror.com This is a daily update on newspaper corrections. As I always admonished folks, "There but for the grace of God..."

• http://metaatem.net/words I learned about this one on Poynter. You type in a word, like your name, and "flickr" will spell it out in different letters from pictures found on the Internet. It is hard to explain. Just do it!

• http://jumptheshark.com I still am amazed at all the people who do not know about this site. It gets its name from the episode of "Happy Days" when Fonzie jumped his motorcycle over a shark. This is basically a discussion board where folks can discuss when a good TV series went bad, or, jumped the shark. Truly addictive!

• http://www.slickdeals.net Here's a good place to discover great deals on virually anything. This is essentially a board where folks share amazing bargains - and it really works!

http://cheaters.com I keep telling everyone that my new favorite daytime television show is "Cheaters" in which anyone who suspects their loved of infidelity can contact the show and they will dispatch a team of private detectives and videographers to detail the cheating and then arrange a confrontation. The best part: despite the scandalous nature, the show claims it is "both dedicated to the faithful and presented to the falsehearted to encourage their renewal of temperance and virtue." Yeah, right...

• http://www.theonion.com Fake news is, sometimes, better than the real thing! One of the funniest sites on the 'Net.

• http://www.humanclock.com Go to this site and hit "view the clock" and then "gimme a cute window" and the time will be displayed, uniquely, by humans!

• http://www.link4u.com/vacation.htm Why not take a virtual vacation?

• http://www.earthcam.com/usa/nevada/lasvegas/paris.html Here is a 24/7 live cam from the Paris Las Vegas Hotel & Casino! Ahhh... The Paris...

Other summer reading tips: I chowed down on two John Grisham books in Florida: "The Street Lawyer" and "The Last Juror." "Juror" is a must-read for anyone who has ever worked at a small newspaper. "Cargo" magazine has cool stuff for guys. "House of M" may top "Infinity Crisis" as the comic book event of the summer. For summer viewing, check out the first season of "The Bob Newhart Show" on DVD. A real gem! Also, you MUST see the rereleased Steve McQueen classic "Bullitt." Ultra-cool!

Sweetwoods in the News!!!

While I am no longer in the newspaper biz, my brother and sister have both played significant roles in their local newspapers in recent weeks. This, of course, saves me the hassle of actually writing something to post here!

My sister, Karen Roth, is a terrific columnist volunteering her talents for the "Write Team" of the Daily Times of Ottawa, Ill. She deserves to be paid for her work, Lonny! Here is her June 8 column following the June 4 marriage of her daughter Angela to Fred Nimke:

"Smiling with tears from the cradle to a wedding"

When your baby girl is born, a myriad of thoughts races through your mind. Holding her safely in your arms, you envision that first step and the first date. You think of her playing with friends, going off to college, and the grand finale - her wedding day. Happiness swells inside you. And you smile through your tears.

You bring that darling infant home. Colic and ear infections take over your sleep-deprived life. You wonder how you lost control and why nothing feels right. One day she finally takes a nap. You check on her and gaze at those chubby cheeks and the dimpled hands. And you smile through your tears.

She skips off to her first day of school. She comes home brimming over with excitement about the big swingset and Music with Mrs. Martin on Mondays. Then comes the day when someone makes fun of her and her feelings get hurt. You hug her and use the moment to remind her why we should be thoughtful of others. And you smile through your tears.

Teen years hit before you know it and you enter a cycle of slumber parties and orthodontist appointments. The telephone constantly rings, and the circle of friends is ever changing. Her bedroom looks as though a hurricane blew threw.

Just when you begin to wonder how what kind of person you are raising, you run into a neighbor. Your daughter babysat for her children, and the neighbor can’t say enough nice things about how much the kids love her. She raves about how responsible your daughter is to clean up the kitchen and make sure the children get to bed on time. And you smile through your tears.

College and then graduate school. She juggles a job, internship, and car payments. You worry about how she will manage to get everything done. You warn her again about drugs and strangers, but she rolls her eyes as she runs out the door.

One evening she calls with the message that she had car trouble but made it safely to class & don’t worry. You leave her a voice mail message telling her to stay put until you arrive. Your husband breaks all the traffic rules racing to get there before she is alone on campus at night.

You don’t see her at first, and your heart skips a beat. Then you spot her. Some professors are waiting with her. They extend offers of overnight lodging or calling a repairman.

You are impressed with the quality of people she knows; they are good folks who look out for one another. They tell you what a wonderful person she is and how highly they think of her. And you smile through your tears.

Her wedding day is almost here. I’ve been preoccupied with the most unexpected things: how will we ever get everything done, what will I serve the girls for lunch before we head to the church, and where did I put that wedding wrapping paper?

Then we went for her final dress fitting. And suddenly I remembered the day she was born and the tremendous feelings I had on the first day of her life. I thought I could never love her more than I did right then.

I was wrong. Her father and I are grateful we had the chance to raise this wonderful person. We love her more today than we did twenty-five years ago.

So on her wedding day, when she tells us she loves us before marrying the man of her dreams, we will smile through our tears.

----------------------------------------------

That was sweet! Meanwhile, my brother Eric and I share a great love for comic books. Eric has collected every Batman comic printed since he became my little brother on Dec. 6, 1963. As a result, he is something of a renowned Batman expert (he has a grad school paper published on the subject) and since "Batman Begins" opened this week, the Bloomington Pantagraph profiled him on Thursday. The story is here (thanks to legendary Publisher Henry Bird!):


"Building a better bat"

By Steve Arney
sarney@pantagraph.com

The complexity of the dyad character Batman/Bruce Wayne has attracted Eric Sweetwood from an early age.

He learned how to read from comic books, starting three years after his 1963 birth, and Batman has been his lifelong favorite.

In other comics, superheroes and villains are a collection of mutants, aliens and characters with special powers. To Sweetwood, they lack a plausibility.

Take Superman.

The alien from Krypton looks exactly like a European-American. His powers make victory predictable.

Sweetwood prefers the human hero.

"With Batman," he said, "you really could lose. Batman in the comics occasionally does lose. He's a real guy."

Sweetwood takes seriously his character study of Batman/Bruce Wayne and his study of the series' other characters.

A social studies teacher for Pontiac High School, Sweetwood will teach a July class at Heartland Community College for fifth-through-ninth graders as part of the college's Youth Enrichment Program. (Program information is available at www.heartland.edu/cce)

As a college student in 1997, he undertook a scholarly examination, writing a graduate school paper published by "A Student Journal of Historical Studies" at Illinois State University. You can download and read the paper here (PDF).

Complicating any study of the dual character is the shifting interpretations of Batman/Bruce Wayne by comics writers, starting with Batman's 1939 debut, and the script writers, actors and directors of modern media.

Wednesday's release of "Batman Begins" marks the fifth live-action motion picture since 1989. Christian Bale is the fourth actor to take the lead role. Christopher Nolan is the third director.

Batman appears, on average, in about 15 different comic books per month, and some of those books emphasis different traits within the character, said Jim Schifeling, owner of Acme Comics in downtown Normal.

For example, the Detective series focuses on Batman's cerebral sleuthing ability, said Schifeling.

Movie director Tim Burton unleashed a modern Batman in 1989, with the first in the modern "Batman" series.

The gothic setting and grittiness gave viewers a dramatic departure from the campy Adam West portrayal of the 1960s TV series and movie.

But Burton's Batman was familiar ground to comics collectors. They were witnessing a return of a darker Dark Knight, not a new creation. And the grittier Dark Knight has dominated Batman comics since then, Schifeling said.

He describes the traditional Batman as "dark and moody" and "an introvert."

The movie series, meanwhile, evolved into lighter fare, with Robin adding levity just as he did in the comics starting in the 1940s.

Recent movies became ridiculous, especially the most recent "Batman & Robin," said Schifeling. Over the decades, the comics made similar forays into weird and stupid, he said, such as the examination of the child Batman.

Sweetwood, too, dismisses the last movie as a failure. But taking the long view, his premise is that the shifting Batman/Wayne character reflects shifts in society while imparting lessons through Batman, his allies and the villains.

A few examples, gathered from his college research papers and from conversations this month, are as follows:

• Batman begins as a vengeful vigilante out to produce justice. This was during World War II.

• The post-war Batman and Bruce Wayne are more friendly. Batman becomes a friend of police, rather than an isolated fighter with a similar agenda. Materialism and modernism are reflected in the Batmobile and other machinery.

• Batman in the late 1950s and early 1960s takes to outer space, reflecting science fiction's popularity. Batgirl and Batwoman probably were introduced as love interests to "prove" that the Dynamic Duo wasn't a gay couple, as alleged by an anti-comics critic.

• Batman keeps his values in the 1970s but is less cooperative with government.

• The villains Scarecrow and Penguin provide examples of people turning angry and evil after enduring taunts and abuse from society for being odd. It serves as a warning to be kind to people who are different.

• The original Robin, Dick Grayson, became Nightwing, and his relationship with Batman shows the generation gap.

• The Oracle, paralyzed by the Joker, becomes a crimefighter through computer use. She is a modern woman.

A constant trait for Batman/Wayne is human frailty, and his flaws help the readers and viewers relate to the character, Sweetwood said.

Batman/Wayne is forever dealing with the grief of his parents' murder, wrongly blaming himself and obsessed with redeeming himself while protecting others, said Sweetwood.

The character also represents the ability to overcome personal tragedy and achieve greatness, he said, and that is a lesson for all generations of Batman watchers.

Copyright © 2005, Pantagraph Publishing Co. All rights reserved.

-------------------------------------

If you want to see Eric in his "Bat-Room," go here:

http://www.pantagraph.com/ent/art/0616_batguy1.jpg

I am so proud of my brother and sister and so excited that their talents and special qualities have been recognized by their local newspapers!


Mark

The nagging ends...

To all of the women in my life - including my wife, the staff at For Eyes in Algonquin, Heather, et al - please notice the change in my picture. The other one was dated, I admit. The new one was shot June 4, 2005 at my niece Angela's wedding to her beloved Fred. OK. Ya happy!?! A photo shot THIS century! Notice how the face has become fuller while the glasses smaller... I am told that makes me more stylish (the smaller glasses not the fuller face) though I still kinda miss the Harry Carey look. Holy Cow!

Now, I gotta work on the fuller face...

Addendum

Here's one for all the folks over the years who have pledged - upon hearing one of our comic/tragic misadventures while traveling - "I will NEVER vacation with you!": We arrived in Florida last August just in time for the first major Florida hurricane of the season, "Charley." Ten months later we have returned to Florida for the first major tropical storm of the 2005 season, "Arlene." Go figure...

Soakin' Up Some Vitamin D

I feel like that Johnny Cash song: "I've been everywhere, man!"

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks what with Memorial Day weekend, my niece Angela's beautiful wedding and our trip to Fort Lauderdale.

I'm exhausted. :)

Truth be told, despite my weariness of living out of a suitcase, I love everything about traveling. In a future/alternative life, I'd make a great "Travel Concierge." I'm not sure if such a thing exists. Maybe I should invent it/one. At least, it would be a cool column concept.

There are a lot of tricks to organizing a good trip - and it doesn't have to cost three arms and two-and-a-half legs. Let me walk you through some tips - and you can use these if you have yet to put together a summer get-away. The good news: It's not too late to book a fun trip! Quit panicking!

OK, first, decide where you want to go. There are a lot of ways to do this. The most popular way is to look around where you are and then decide how far away from THAT you want to get!

Seriously, what interests you? Dining? The Sun? Entertainment? Sports? Adventure? Kid diversions? Relaxation?

For me, sun and relaxation are always at the top of the list. Now, how much would you like to spend? I have a suggestion: As little as possible. Visit a online travel agent like www.expedia.com and poke around at the possibilities. To stay up to date on some great deals, subscribe to the email service at www.travelzoo.com.

Actually, that is how we ended up in Fort Lauderdale the first time. Travelzoo.com tipped me that Spiritair.com was having a sale from Chicago (or, ORD as a trained Travel Concierge would say) to Fort Lauderdale (FLL). Every now and then, the tickets there from Chicago are incredibly cheap. One reason: Fort Lauderdale is the HQ (concierge-speak for "headquarters") of Spirit. So, in 2003, I found non-stop tickets for $43 each way!. Yes, $86 for a round trip. The trick here: Book the trip on a less-traveled day like Tuesday vs. Friday or Saturday.

With that info, the next step is deciding where to stay. A good resource is wwwtripadvisor.com. Here, actual travelers rank hotels based on their experiences.

In 2003, I was surprised to discover that a little, inexpensive, independently owned Fort Lauderdale hotel called the Tropi Rock Resort ranked in the top five among the hundreds of Fort Lauderdale hotels. I called and talked to the owner, Mick, and he was a great guy. I booked it and the plane tickets and we just thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It was so enyoyable, in fact, that we returned to soak up some Vitamin D this week. Mick gave us a great rate for the return visit and lest ye be fearful of all of the stories about rising gas prices, airline strife, blah, blah, blah: We got a great rate from Spirit! Good prices still remain.

In fact, I checked on Tuesday night by doing a search on Spiritair.com and found I could still book a round trip from ORD to FLL departing Tuesday, July 19, 2005 and returning Tuesday, July 26, 2005 for $88! Yes, it has just gone up $2 in two years! Add tax, title, license fee, destination charges and "security" fee, the total for two tickets was $213.80! A compact efficiency for seven nights at the Tropi Rock is $490 plus taxes. The pool and gardens are lovely and the ocean is one-and-a-half blocks away!

Here's a Spirit tip: When checking in, inquire if there are open seats in "Spirit Class," their version of First Class. NEVER book Spirit Class online! If they have openings at the gate and you want to kick your vacation off in style, it will cost you between $30-50 per seat. It varies depending on demand, length of the trip, etc. It seems random, frankly. On the most recent trip, it cost us $50 each. On our last Orlando trip it was $30. It used to be $40 when Spirit flew to Las Vegas in 2004. It's all you can drink and free snacks, unlike "coach," so you'll get some of that back by consuming like a pig - plus you will be infinitely more comfortable. We consumed $36 dollars in "free" food and drinks on the three-hour flight to Fort Lauderdale. Those suckers in coach PAID for food and drinks and were uncomfortable to boot!

Just to make this seem even more commercial: When in Fort Lauderdale, guests of the Mark Sweetwood blog (pretty much just Mary at this point) stay at the beautiful Tropi Rock Resort. Check it out at www.tropirock.com. When flying, the Mark Sweetwood blog flies Spirit Airlines! Catch the Spirit at www.spiritair.com.

Now, if I could just get paid for that...

As always, feel free to send me any questions or comments about travel, tips or destinations!

Back to the pool!


Mark

P.S. While "researching" this blog chapter, I discovered that on this Tropi Rock page - http://www.tropirock.com/rooms.html - our actual room is pictured at the top! How cool!

Putting stock into reader expectations...

OK, I promise not to make this site a regurgitation of my old newspaper philosophies. But I was compelled to pontificate by this item from Wednesday's Chicago Tribune: "Sun-Times to kill stock tables."

I think that was a popular media topic, judging by my emails Wednesday. I passed it along to friends I know after reading it at Romenesko's Poynter site and other media-types and acquaintances emailed me, too, with their viewpoints. Mostly, I witnessed a bloodthirsty call for the death of stock listings!

One of my favorite books in recent years is "The Tipping Point" by Malcom Gladwell which, as the subtitle suggests, details "How little things can make a big difference." Gladwell demonstrates how a relatively small group - properly placed - can spark anything from a fashion trend to a syphilis outbreak. Gladwell also has a cautionary note about one of his agents of change which he labeled "The Power of Context:"

"...in a given process or system, some people matter more than others."

Now, newspaper managers across the country, long weary of the expense of publishing page-after-page of non-advertising-bearing stock listings, are watching the Sun-Times move with great expectations. For the average investor, the online community can provide a more expedient invest portfolio-tracking experience. For the older reader, stock listings in the newspaper are a tradition. While Chicago's No. 2 newspaper is among the first metro newspapers to end the practice, I've been told of another company that plans to make a similar announcement this summer.

Have newspapers reached the "tipping point" in terms of such content?

Perhaps. However, the Trib article quotes Sreenath Sreenivasan, chief of the new media program at Columbia University's journalism school, with this well-timed warning: "If they put in more business reporting, more context, that would be good for the reader. If they're doing this and not doing anything to enhance the paper, that may not be a good idea."

I hope that statement gets as much attention as the Sun-Times decision to end stock listings.

Editors often go about making these types of decisions in an odd way. If I had a dime for every time I witnessed some editor brag at some editors' gathering about how he or she eliminated a feature or reader service "And the newsroom did not receive a single phone call!" I could retire for real. These poor souls truly do not comprehend the newspaper/reader relationship.

The relationship is based mostly on how relevant the newspaper is to the reader's life. And, in recent years, readers have increasingly told newspapers that they were no longer relevant to their lives. But they didn't pick up the phone to do so in most cases. They just let their subscriptions expire and if the newspaper even bothered to call to find out why - and far too many do not - telemarketers were given excuses such as "I just don't have enough time."

Think about your relevant relationships with other types of media: Did you actually call Entertainment Weekly to let them know their magazine was no longer relevant to your life - or did you just let the subscription lapse? When you stopped listening to Steve Dahl on the radio, did you send him him a card or letter? When the TV sitcom "Frazier" became tedious in Year No. 6 of its 11-year run, did you send Kelsey Grammer a telegram? When media moths Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez morphed into "Bennifer" and overwhelmed and violated your consciousness, did you e-mail them to explain your reluctance to "Gigli?"

Why, then, do editors expect readers to call them with a pronouncement when they feel their relevant relationship has been thus violated? Sure, readers call if they believe an article or an opinion (like an editorial endorsement) is offensive. But these folks are in the minority of cancelations. They have a passion that has intersected with the newspaper and the likelihood of these readers actually canceling or remaining away from the newspaper for any extended period of time is nil.

As in gastronomic attacks, be fearful of the silent, but deadly variety of readership indifference...

I was fortunate to spend the past 13 years at Shaw Newspapers where I had much freedom to build teams to fully utilize content innovations. In recent years, many non-progressive newspaper companies have, in contrast, cut content costs and then flattered themselves that the moves were deft; that the lowly reader never caught on that he/she is getting less for more. After all, no one has called. We've eliminated features, reporters, photographers, meeting coverage, prep sports coverage, graduation sections, etc. And guess what!? No one called!!

Ah, but circulation numbers declined... That should have been enough of a wake-up call.

I agree with Sreenivasan: A stock listing cut must be replaced by a content augmentation. And I'll add this caveat: Merely redirecting readers away from the print product to the Internet is NOT enough augmentation. Newspapers have to balance the desire to save on newsprint costs by eliminating such content with the need to maintain/attract readers with better, more relevant content. Newspapers must avoid giving readers yet another reason to put their newspaper down for good.

And, keeping "The Tipping Point" in mind, I suggest watching to see how the Chicago Tribune responds to the stock listing conundrum. They still set the benchmark for newspaper content in many markets. Therefore, what the Trib does matters more than others...